How Do You Move Forward After An Emotionally Crippling Experience?

The violent death of a parent, spouse, sibling, or child; a sexual assault; a divorce; a sudden loss of property such as in a house fire; being arrested and sent to jail; being publicly humiliated by the exposing of a personal secret. All of these experiences can have an emotionally crippling effect.  They engrave indelible marks on our personalities and keep us from moving forward with our lives. We wallow in pain and grief as a way of life, allowing anger and bitterness to become a permanent part of our personalities. We become obsessed with vengeance against the one who wronged us. We become cynical and afraid to try to achieve our greatest dreams, permanently scarred by a painful memory. We find someone else to blame for our failures. A bad experience can be a stepping stone or a stumbling block, depending on how high you step.  How do you heal from the hurt, bounce back, and advance to a higher level of wisdom after an emotionally crippling experience?