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First we had BBQ Becky in Oakland, THEN Permit Patty in San Francisco, NOW we have Burrito Bart...a man called a BART train operator to tell the police that a young man was eating a burrito on BART!
Who do I always hear horror stories from men with kids, that when their wives were pregnant, they always asked for weird shit to eat? What are we, on a damned Chopped show? You better drink this water and PRETEND it's some chili cheese fries!
In movies, if you see a guy or gal working at a factory, the boss always comes around with a clipboard, and gets angry that he has to tell eveyone to take a break. Next, are you going to yell TAKE A SHIT BEFORE YOUR SHIFT!
I'm the Lil Wayne of radio comedy...I just blurt out random shit but your momma can still twerk to it.
Women will go to the gym wearing "cute" shit that shows off their butt, but get mad when you look. I'm sorry ma'am, but your vagina is sweating.
Men need to do better in the bedroom...so during sex, take out her nuvaring and wrap it around your thumb and forefinger like a rubber band gun, then shoot her in the face. Fun times.
When I ejaculate, it sounds like the losers horn sound on The Price Is Right. (Sorry mom, and grandma)
