STEP SIX Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

When I first attempted this step, I had two immediate thoughts: 1) How and why would my Higher Power “remove” anything from me, and 2) What would I feel like if I were “entirely ready” to give up all my “defects”?  I felt that if I would attempt this step, I would allow something extreme in my life, and this seemed intimidating.  My fear was that Step Six meant I would have to open up in a way that felt unnatural to me.  Frankly, I did not want to let go of what I thought would have to be too much, too fast, or parting from my vital survival skills.  Taking this step did not seem at all appealing to me.   The way I processed my fears was by asking which parts of me I thought would be removed, and was I afraid of having to live a life without these very necessary parts of myself.   My fear was that this meant I had to become someone fundamentally different from my basic personality and nature.  This was because I believed that I was defective, and who I was must be problematic.  This too, is another tragic result of trauma and victimization.  It is not the intent of Step Six at all.