No Way Out - hosted by Craig Sicilia

Living with a brain injury has been interesting, harsh and unforgiving.  I have learned more about humanity in the last 7 years than I have all the rest of the years combined.  I had a hope that one day it would be behind me.  All the overwhelmed brain days, all of the headaches, all of the thoughts of self-worthlessness and doubt.  As we approach these days that get shorter each day, the weather getting wet and cooler.  Shorter days and longer nights add to our feeling down.  Holidays are reminders of days past, and people past.  I know for me it takes all my energy to get through them. 

I try to paint the pretty face for my daughters and people who look to me for support.  It is so hard at times.  I just like everyone else want to crawl under a rock and isolate from the world.  Disappear into the darkness that my mind creates.  And create it does, a never ending race of thoughts that I cannot process because my brain is going faster than I can understand. And sometimes these thoughts get me in trouble, on the wrong path.

The blessing side of this I have developed a life that accommodates my life, and these over stimulating conditions that can pound me into the group.  And I have had those moments where I thought I could leave it all behind and just blend into society.  Refuse for a short time to time respite from all that has crumbled in my life.  As I rebuild this new me, on I don’t even fully recognize.  I am learning I am trapped inside myself and for the seven years of my fight there has been NO WAY OUT.