"Pop" Culture  

• What it was like for my grandfather (Phil Havens) to be a dad growing up.  David (John's dad) said it's not likely he would have ever cleaned a dish or changed a diaper although he would have if my grandma had asked.  But culturally, people just didn't expect dads to be involved in that way.
  
• I asked how Grandpa disciplined his kids and apparently he never spanked.  Phil had the attitude that spanking would only make him mad and wouldn't get the job done that needed to be done anyway.
  
• Kids during my grandfather's age, and even with my dad were still to "be seen and not heard." 
  
• I asked my dad about insights being a psychiatrist in terms of fatherhood.  One thing he talked about was how guys in general can tend to be oblivious of certain emotional things that women tend to be more aware of.  He told this joke in that regard: A guy asks God why He made women so beautiful.  God says, 'So you'll talk to them.'  Then the guy says, 'why'd you make them so stupid?' God answers, "So they'll talk to you." 
  
• I asked when dad first heard anything in the media targeted to dads specifically (not just parents in general).  He remembered a show called, "I remember momma" that had a quiet father on the show, but one who's quiet authority/love was very influential on the family.  But when I pressed him about a specific  dad-centric item, he couldn't think of anything during his era of parenting when I was a kid (I'm 38 now).
  

Shrink and Son

This is the first episode in my "Pop" Culture series where I go straight to the source (mine, anyway) to ask about what it means to be a modern dad.  I think my father, Dr. David W. Havens, M.D., has a number of particularly keen insights as he's not just a dad but has counseled men/women dealing with family issues for about 40 years (we figured out on the show that's he's sat in a chair helping people for 100,000+ hours in his lifetime).

It's interesting to note that my dad said most guys used to look to their father-in-law's if they didn't have their own dad nearby (or living) to model their fathering after.  Plus my dad thinks that society is about twenty years or so behind what's actually happening in the world when it comes to parenting.  He also agrees with me that if you're a stay at home dad (which I have been, on and off), people will likely think there's something wrong with you if they see you at the plaground with your kids.  Their inner monlogue will run something like, "he's probably out of a job," or, "maybe he's a widower." 

I'll be interviewing my dad again soon as I'd love to hear how he thought his dad reacted to being a father.  Wartime seemed to affect everything else about life, and I'm thinking fatherhood is no different.  Hope you'll join us and I'll have that time/date up soon.