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Anguish - Lost Inside
Hosted by Craig Sicilia
Life is funny, we spend our whole lives building this person we think we know so well. Ourselves, then all of a sudden in a single instance it crumbles as we watch after a brain injury. Our friends and family hardly know us little alone have any desire to be around us shortly after. These experiences happen so quick in what seems to be a blink of an eye. We have no one in our lives, life seems to lose meaning. Soon we isolate and lose more of our ability to socialize in a typical world. Soon we ponder in being who we used to be and even give every ounce of energy and effort trying to be that person we remember.
Even though none of this perfect life we thought we had no longer exists, we find yourself alone, isolated inside of this vessel our body is no longer recognized by ourselves. And many may spend the rest of their lives in this state. How do we change this, how do we embrace and learn to live a life that we truly can love. One that we have not imagined yet. Join in tonight as we explore this...
Prison of the mind
Hosted by Craig Sicilia
We humans live a life that is part reality but imagination, what are minds tell us it is, so it is no surprise after a abi/tbi as we try to rehabilitate toward what society says is typical, when we fall short of these measurements set for us we start using these as bricks and mortar building the ultimate prison in our minds. A prison so dark and vast that we easily get lost inside these self-built walls. Trying to find a way around, over and under only to find it unescapable. Were too busy building our why’s and how comes. When we should be thinking why not. We need to change doubt into believe focusing on what we have and can do rather than what we don’t have and cannot do. When we can move beyond the prisons of our mind we can turn cannot do’s into done’s.
Our Minds our powerful processors waiting for information and what we believe becomes the software that determine how we process and perceive all this information. Our believes get challenged and disproven most build stronger walls but it is possible to escape this prison, this solitary confinement that we have sentenced ourselves to. And we may visit our prisons often but in time those visits can be less and maybe we can break the confinements of our minds. Building a truly new individual the one you’re destined to be not the one programed with boundaries set by your own mind.
Share your prison and how you broke or have periods of when you break free, the feeling the process lets us break this jail of the mind together and change our world.
Numbered Day's - Destiny or Delusion
Hosted by Craig Sicilia
This show airs just 51 weeks after empowering emerging leaders in truly leading. Almost too where some felt abandoned left to drown. Many not understanding how I would dare let others just have it. You see it was never mine, it has always been for whoever needs it. I can remember my first show, how I to, was just searching and not even knowing what it was I was searching for. I have been planning this show for almost two years. Knowing the time was coming. And if this vision is destiny or just my dark deeded delusion. I guess time will tell. From the deepest depths of my heart i know this is what I am, was and will do to the end.
I knew about a year and a half ago my own music was killing me, whether it was the physical sounds and lights or just the significance of it's meaning to me. Juggling everything putting its focal point on building a real community, with leaders that will survivor this jungle of life. Though my children paid a huge price as my time got consumed many times. I know they will be proud. People may think I’m nutsy, and their probably more right than wrong. Tonight part one of a three part series of one man’s journey, in his attempt in creating a support system that will last through the times of sand, bringing hope to those who need it. Am I delusional, maybe! The sense of dying knowing the time is coming, thinking I am some kind of fortune teller, I sit here and ask myself the same thing, I say to myself, really I think I see my future, or am i just delusional
My Universe, God, Creator or whoever it is has put my destiny in my head from the beginning, and the peace people see in me is the peace that I have done my best, and believe he is saying "I Am Pleased"
Special Report on Legal pot in Washington mixed with our memorial day remembering who we are now, we have 6 shots some real funny some pro pot some no pot what ever you think its legal in my state. I went and checked out one of the stores today, I invited them on the show and I will share my experience and you can share yours too call in tonight. You will love the reporting on this subject.
HARDER THAN LIFE
New Beginnings Life after Brain Injury
Hosted by Craig Sicilia
In rememberence of ourselves we shall talk about the following remembering we are incredable
After a brain injury life is hard, we no longer can trust our tools in dealing with relationships and the longer time goes on the harder it gets, we are social creatures and we will explore relationships and the difficulty with many aspects of interpersonal skills, trust and willingness to bend, but these things we must overcome these harder than life behaviors as a new person, building the new us.
ISOLATION - LOST INSIDE MYSELF
Hosted by Craig Sicilia
Lost Inside Myself: I know I am not the only one who feels like they’re in a bubble. The bubble of life I can see out of my bubble but i am imprisoned inside of it. Sentenced to watch life happen but cannot touch it, only watch it pass us by.
As well no one can get inside our bubble. Maybe we are all waiting for a bubble master, someone who can get inside the bubble with us and maybe together we can break a hole in this bubble that has become a prison that keeps us from being an active participant in our own life’s.
Unlike Houdini we are stuck and as the years and decades go by the walls to the bubble get thicker and harder to break free from. Till we become institutionalized to our bubble, which is where our bubble is becomes the only home we know or can remember. We fight to stay inside our bubble.
LET US BREAK FREE FROM OUR BUBBLE'S BEFORE IT'S TO LATE
STRESSED OUT - with Craig Sicilia and special co-host Cheryl Green
Life is full of stress, with the normal hustle and bustle of things, then you add the holidays to it which magnifies it, then a brain injury on top of it, I know sometimes I just want to bury my head in the ground like an Ostrich and hope the world just passes me by, which I have it only adds more stress. And letting the world pass you by actually only adds more stress and isolation. What do or can we do.
Tonight we are going to talk about strategies and methods that some self-advocates living with brain injury have and are using to deal with the deadly stress and the holiday blues than many live through year after year.
We will talk about passions and consuming our time with positive constructive things that make all the difference in many lives of survivors around the world. There is good stress and bad stress both can overwhelm us in a flash, so it is important to manage both. Finding that balance that each of us can live a happy productive fulfilling life. A life quite possibly more fulfilling than the life we had before our brain injuries.
With a special segments with the amazing Cheryl Green and T-Dog and as well a new episode of Phone Zapp
Do you Empower or are you an Enabler
Hosted by Craig Sicilia
To Empower means letting go, teach the skill and step away, why bother teaching if you don't. Grass roots involves many leaders working together for the same goal, to bring real change takes real leaders, not puppets, those who settle for what is given, and buy into what every the system tells us, A grass roots movement is only for those who want to change this system. Are you happy or do you want to be part of a better tomorrow for all of us. Empower each other
in Pop Culture
Living with a brain injury has been interesting, harsh and unforgiving. I have learned more about humanity in the last 7 years than I have all the rest of the years combined. I had a hope that one day it would be behind me. All the overwhelmed brain days, all of the headaches, all of the thoughts of self-worthlessness and doubt. As we approach these days that get shorter each day, the weather getting wet and cooler. Shorter days and longer nights add to our feeling down. Holidays are reminders of days past, and people past. I know for me it takes all my energy to get through them.
I try to paint the pretty face for my daughters and people who look to me for support. It is so hard at times. I just like everyone else want to crawl under a rock and isolate from the world. Disappear into the darkness that my mind creates. And create it does, a never ending race of thoughts that I cannot process because my brain is going faster than I can understand. And sometimes these thoughts get me in trouble, on the wrong path.
The blessing side of this I have developed a life that accommodates my life, and these over stimulating conditions that can pound me into the group. And I have had those moments where I thought I could leave it all behind and just blend into society. Refuse for a short time to time respite from all that has crumbled in my life. As I rebuild this new me, on I don’t even fully recognize. I am learning I am trapped inside myself and for the seven years of my fight there has been NO WAY OUT.
Hosted by, Craig Sicilia
Come take a walk on the beach on the pacific ocean, live from the BEST (Brain Energy Support Team) TBI Camp at Dashpoint on the pacific ocean. I will gather some survivors who want to chat at camp and together with our listeners will take a walk on the beach.
Finding our happy place is not easy, but we must try and what a better way than talking about the beautiful world around us, live on location from the pacific ocean see or hear you there
He we go through life trying to make it day to day sometimes, and people look at us as broke, needing repair or superglue. Because for us to succeed our lives look much differently to others many times, and people have a hard time envissioning any struggles we might encounter. And there are times where I buy into the percetion of others and feel less than, or incomplete even BROKEN but i am not broke, I am me, and am learning to accept this uninvited stranger that has become me.
On the flip side on my more challenging days you got to love those well i couldn't tell by looking at ya that you have challenges (i just think to my self) no shit!!! I use to start drulling and asking if that helps them vissualize my problems, not sure what they vissualized but it stopped that.
Our biggest challenge is now having others embrace the new us, the new me, finding those relationships that make life worth living, finding that peace that only can come from the inside of each of us. But as the old saying says how can we feel great hope and love if we never felt great pain and loss. I tell you what folks judging by the pain and struggles I am instore for something incredable and am ready for it to. Lets make our lifes something we love something we can live with and say this is good.
The Chosen One’s
As a new fiscal year launched with the 2014 Brain Injury Camping Experience ending a year I questions why I do these things, what good is it? What does it all mean? Why me Lord or Universe. Why should one person have to experience so much bad, it’s not fair. Ever since I was 3 or 4 years old I knew I was chosen all the time being beat by foster parents who the beatings are the only things I can remember of them. Promises made to exploit my talents. And now living with emotions that come from the depths of my soul I don’t think I can do what is programed from the universe pushing the very essences and fabric of who I am. It’s an essences so powerful there are other forces doing everything in their power to stop it. I use to think I was destined to be the leader of this as a young child I have seen wars with more soldiers, tanks, plains than ever imagined in Hollywood. I know now I am not this leader and am in awe of the leaders I have been blessed to meet, I think I am the vessel who was given the opportunity to create the environment where they can meet I am a soldier of what is to come. As I am to the point of I can’t take no more the universe gives me what I needed to learn once again.
But it feels like the last lesson in a long journey leading to something new. The Last 5 years of camping experiences have been part of it. What’s weird the experiences were out of sequence in my life but not in others’ lives. But it all ties together, the universe has went into a new age and we the people with disabilities are the chosen not the misfit’s society has labeled us with. Look around things are in motion of great change and great challenges and have been for decades if not centuries. I do not know how all the pieces fit together but the brain events many of us disrupt the plan
A TIME FOR REFLECTION
Just finished up our most popular event we do, hoopfest yesterday, and today makes the official end of our fiscal year but we have been broke for a couple months, and many of the popular things dont really get much money. But here we go to our 7th brain injury camp, which this year my radar stops
This last year i tracked what we do and the cost verses funding sources but this time I am factoring in the personal cost on me. The last 6 months of last fiscal year its been 7 days a week 10 to 15 hour days, all which i do to myself, emails (tens of thousands of emails each month) and phones are not handled it comes down to doing the physical work, making sure groups go off, I have spent a couple of years mentoring a group of very capiple men and woman who will take over support groups officially tomorrow (THE 5) i PLan on calling them into the show tonight they dont know it ill post this on their facebook walls and hour before
Many other projects I have put much effort into self sustaining leadership, people who can do it!!! (Im calling them into the show too) i hope.
I have been finalizing tasks and evaluating everything for the last 43 days and am now in reflective mode, evaluating where i fit, evaluating any service that cannot be sustained or that is sustained poorly letting it fail.
Doing my first ever personaal budget for this next fiscal year, being real with the efforts and as a person with a disability giving a far days work for any wages through grants and not straining me and my family trying to fix the world,
The biggest thing is i am eliminating myself on anything politacal, Im done I've lost friends over it, see the hurt and frustration on survivors really trying to change their circumstances in live only to find out their an industry. And the fact that survivors can't get along either, hopeles