When things shift - the a-ha moment

So often significant events have lasting impacts. When parents get divorced, an injury happens, someone get sick (really sick), or maybe dies, it changes people. Those experiences often propel people forward into another level of understanding the world. The kids who become leaders, are super engaged, and have a different perspective have often overcome or dealt with the difficulties of life. What is it about those events that makes this happen? What could we do to move others to that different level (do you want to there)? What is at that deeper level of engagement?