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Barack’s Only Hope for Victory “Coming Out” Before Election

  • Broadcast in Politics



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Obama's Having a Party & You're Invited!

Barack Obama delivered a desultory acceptance speech during the Democrat 2012 convention, lacking fire, conviction, or even his usual rhetorical flourishes of bovine excrement. Now, the dark thunderclouds hang heavy over DNC Headquarters while wailing and gnashing of teeth are heard emanating from the facility. Certain unpleasant-for-liberals-to-accept facts have become painfully obvious. First, Barack’s energy and optimism are as depleted as the spirit of the 1979 Iranian Revolution. Second, that Obama is about as psychologically strong as a pinata donkey at a Mexico City dive bar on Cinco de Mayo. Third, that if the Democrat party loses this election, they descend back to their historical roots as Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.

At some point between now and the Nov 2012 election, many Americans are likely to ask themselves whether Barack-as-Pain-Deliverer, aka the “Dapper DNC Dominatrix”—is the only game in town? Or—if we have to accept a declining standard of living, must it be delivered by a teleprompter-reciting cyborg with a stunningly condescending manner and inane smile plastered on his Alfred E. Neuman mug?

Instead of immediately conceding defeat, Obama’s crack (pipe smoking) team of advisers have put their heads together and surmised that Barack has but one ace left in his deck with which to return to office. And that is, to Come Out immediately before the election and get swept back into power by the sympathy vote. Is this really possible?

Yes. And here’s how it could happen—Or, Think: “Hope & (Sex) Change; 2012!”