HELP! SITUATION: “How do I handle jealousy at work?”

In our HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series, we shine the light on challenges that community members have shared with me. This episode is, “ How do I handle jealousy at work?”

Jealousy. Envy. How does a person handle it when others at work (especially peers) are jealous of them? What makes people jealous of you at work? What can you do to prevent or stop jealousy?

I am able to admire a strength in another person without it relating to a negative perception of myself. Just because someone succeeds doesn’t automatically mean that I fail.

Some people are already committed to a personal plan of self-degradation and self-criticism. Thus, if they see something else positive in other people, it triggers in them their fears, insecurity and pain. This results in them being jealous and engaging in behavior to try to diminish the accomplishments or strengths of other people (with verbal teasing or put-downs, with insults, with passive aggressive behavior to sabotage them). This is a sad way of life and we should have empathy for those consumed by these painful and wasteful jealous behaviors. They are standing in the way of their own personal and professional growth and that is a pity. 

If we desire to limit (or even stop) jealousy, we have to determine that having other people “like us” (or at least engage in less hateful behavior) is worth more than our own goals. If you make yourself less visible, less accomplished, less confident, over time it is possible that those who are jealous will start to diminish their negative behavior towards you. Yet, if you do anything to be awarded or acknowledged in a positive way, the jealousy will continue. So, do you want to sabotage your career and happiness for the sake of a self-destructive and miserable person who is mired in pain? It is your choice so let’s discuss your options!