HELP! SITUATION: “How do I respond to insults and intimidation at work?" (2)

In this HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series episode, Part 2 of a 2 part episode (with a final third part follow-up show), is, “How do I respond to direct, brutal, verbal insults and intimidation at work?” We explore the Mental Self-Defense Arts™ and learn what to do when we are emotionally and psychologically attacked at work.

As shared in Part 1 of this episode, I gave a speech several years ago and an angry lady in the audience told me at the end of the event (as everyone was leaving) that I “was ugly” and that my “face was distracting.” Nice. Was that direct? Yes. Was it verbal? Yes. Would some characterize it as “brutal”, “insulting” and/ or “intimidating”? Yes. Some people want to immediately start assessing “why” the person did this? If I had told myself in the morning that I looked “great” and was told right after that by another person that I was “ugly”; what is the truth? What was I wearing? Did I look uglier than normal that day? These are all examples of blaming the victim and more importantly they are a total waste of time and resources.

In Part 1 of this multi-part episode we addressed the issue that some people are predators and their motivate is to inflict pain on other people. They do exist but they are very rare. In some instances when we perceive that we have been “attacked” it really is simply a misunderstanding, personality conflict or other normal event in the range of human behavior. In Part 2 of this episode we address how a predator selects a victim and what type of situational awareness we need to maintain in the workplace. In the final follow-up part of this episode, we address how to determine if we are dealing with a predator and what steps to take, if that is the case, to teach them to look somewhere else for a victim.