Oh Look, The "Holidays" Are Coming!

People are upset that Starbucks made plain red cups for the holidays. SO! At least they aren't putting ISIS flags on them! Besides, Starbucks is shitty sewar water coffee.

Missouri students are protesting racial events from the school. Apparently, someone drew a swastika on the wall of the men's room...with poop. Nothing has been confirmed, but this looks like a shitty situation. The black students don't want the white students to march with them. They're being racist towards the white people, who are trying to protest racism by white people towards black people...what a vicoius circle jerk.

You know you're getting old when you find new ways to flavor oatmeal.

You know you're getting old when you can't wait for the after christmas sale on sheet sets.

Has anyone from ancestry.com actually found their ancestors? I'm afraid mine would be white gorillas in a cave throwing shit at each other.

Penacostal women are horrendous. Bruce Jenner without make-up would fit right in.

Weed isn't weed anymore. It's wax. They've taken the fun out of rolling pinners, and make you "dab" out of a fancy glass crack pipe.

Jihad John has been reported killed...by drowing in liberal tears and unicorn horns.

An unnamed female student went on tv and said the protests were about free school and debt forgiveness. She needs it, because she was too ugly to be a stripper like most college women.