Since February is the official month of love, we might expect polyamorists to be especially busy. The word polyamory is based on the Greek and Latin for many loves (literally, poly-many + amore-love), so a polyamorous relationship is a romantic relationship that involves more than two people. Don’t confuse this with what goes on with Kody Brown and his 4 wives – that’s polygamy, or a marriage in which a spouse of either sex has more than one spouse at the same time. Back to polyamory. To the uninformed, it may look like swinging which has a focus on recreational sex; but with polyamory, deep romantic relationships are the focus, though the sex is there too. Polyamory has the informed consent of all the participants. If you can't invite your lover over for brunch with the rest of your family because you don't want anyone to know what you're doing, it’s not poly. Cheating is breaking the rules. If you aren't breaking the rules of your relationship, you aren’t cheating. Complicated, right? Some would say if you love someone, you shouldn't want anyone else. That’s a noble thought, but based on divorce statistics, doesn’t hold up very well in practice. The social dynamic among polyamorists can be complex, and goes beyond who's having sex with whom. If there is a primary couple and secondary relationships, typically the primary couple will determine a set of ground rules for who is doing whom, and when. And then there’s the question of jealousy which must be resolved in order to maintain a successful relationship. Is this lifestyle for you? Life Coach Jenn A. Nocera of Formula for Excellenceand I weigh in with respect and humor. After the show, please check out After Hours at Jersey Coastal Live for more information.
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