Vows To Your New Children: The Forgotten Nuptials of Remarriage

"Too often, spouses underestimate how much of a part the “new” (“step”) children will play in the new marriage, regardless of their age. A child or children who do not feel a part of the new marriage and family, or who are resistant to the new spouse or family, can create great turmoil in the weeks, months and years ahead." When this evening's guest Dr. Jackie Black suggested that we talk about children and the impact of remarriage on existing family units, I had one of those hey sure, this makes perfectly good sense moments. After all, those of us who are a little further down the path of life (okay . . . older) can more readily recall the old saying that "children should be seen and not heard." Of course growing up in an 800 square foot bungalow with both parents and three older brothers made that a virtual impossibility. What is ironic however, is that with seemingly inexhaustible resources at our disposal today coupled with greater awareness, I fear that more than just a few children feel invisible. Certainly author Larry Winget's reference to a statistic that on average parents spend less than a few minutes in meaningful conversation with their children each week would give testimony to this belief. How much more so is the feeling of exclusion felt in second and perhaps even third marriage homes where kids have to deal with the convergence of both past and present family relationships? This evening we will talk with Dr. Jackie about the expanding, contracting and expanding again family of the 21st century, and what we has parents can do to ensure a healthy transition to what is supposed to be a new beginning.