Author Coy F. Cross II, in his book The Dhance, searches for meaning within his precious wife’s bout with ovarian cancer. Instead of collapsing into despair and questioning “Why,” Coy discovered tools to help him be with Carol in a manner that helped her.
Coy details how by being consciously present, “I learned there were times to fight for Carol and times I needed to pass through the "Dark Night" of Carol's cancer into a place of surrender where I become the "vehicle" of her care. When she said, ‘I don't know how you can do this.’ My response was, and it was a response from my core, ‘I have come to see it as a privilege.’ And that honest truth can only come from being, at that moment, a ‘vehicle’.”
Coy explains that he didn’t stay in the "vehicle" place all the time.. “Maybe saints do,” Coy says, “but I didn’t.. But after experiencing the place beyond good-and-bad, I found I could carry that sense with me even if I fell back into ‘victimhood’. I could use that experience to help lift both Carol and me up. With this tool and others, I hope to help people prepare for the worst times in their lives.”
Coy and Carol found hidden gifts in their challenges, ones they never could have expected to find by eliminating the labels of “good and bad” and focusing on being present for each other,” says Scott Burr, Publisher.
“I want to share what I have learned,” Coy states “hopefully, before someone is neck-deep in life’s hardest experiences or when they are trying to make sense of it after it is over.” Coy’s story is the basis of his book, The Dhance: A Caregiver’s Search for Meaning. Coy also presents speeches and workshops on the topic and is available to sign books and answer questions at various venues.
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