Coping With Holidays When You Are Grieving or Mourning

The only loving advice I would give you is to be gentle with yourself. Expect to feel emotions in unexpected ways. You may have the urge to anesthetize feelings and drown the hurt with food, drugs, alcohol, work or being busy all the time. I would urge you to feel the feelings fully as they come up, because if you stuff them down, they will not go away. Indeed, they may resurface later when you least expect them. Feelings You May Experience • Fear, anxiety and panic • Anger at the person who died, at medical personnel, at yourself or others • Depression or emotional flatness, with a feeling of "Why bother" or "What's the use of trying." • Confusion and a reduced attention span • Numbness, shock and disbelief • Loneliness and isolation • Hunger for someone to really listen to your story • Pain, both physical and emotional • Guilt and regrets. Lots of "if only..." • Emptiness and a missing part of you • Relief, which in many instances provides conflict in your mind • Replaying the scene over and over in your mind • Tired body but unable to sleep Death may happen in a moment, but feeling the emotions around that loss of a loved one will take time, lots of time. The only loving advice I would give you is to be gentle with yourself. Expect to feel emotions in unexpected ways. You may have the urge to anesthetize feelings and drown the hurt with food, drugs, alcohol, work or being busy all the time. I would urge you to feel the feelings fully as they come up, because if you stuff them down, they will not go away. Indeed, they may resurface later when you least expect them. If you are looking for a special book on poems and writings for those who are grieving, I have found one at http://www.DoNotWeep.com that I recommend. I also give this to friends who are mourning the loss of loved one, both human and animal. c) Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship author and keynote speaker http://www.ArtichokePress.com