Dr. Mark Goulston: Real influence takes persuading by connecting, not pushing

Amy Alkon's Advice Goddess Radio: "Nerd Your Way To A Better Life!" with the best brains in science.

*"Best of" replay for Easter Sunday.

We tend to believe that we just have to reason others into doing what we want -- or even doing what we see is best for them. The reality is, we influence people by connecting with them and feeling where they're coming from, not trying to push them into doing things our way, notes psychiatrist, business coach, and hostage negotiator trainer Dr. Mark Goulston. Even if the shoving approach sometimes leads to short-term change, it breeds lasting resentment, not successful business and other relationships.

Goulston will lay out the fine points of the connected influence that moves people to go along with our goals and how to avoid the disconnected style that moves people away from us and leads to resentment and other bad feelings and outcomes. 

Goulston's book that we'll be discussing on this show is "Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In." Goulston's terrific previous book, "Just Listen," is just out in paperback.

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