Listen or Die

Today, we have decided to turn over a new leaf and not be cynical. That being said, we need to stop boredom from spreading by destroying the source. Many news organizations are plotting on you and they're deliberately making you boring.  And for what? They're cashing in on brainwashing you so they can pay for gay sex. Really. I'm not making all of that up. It's definitely true. Your time and hard work is literally being harnessed and transformed into butt sex. It's time for an overhaul and who better to lead the way than us?