But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light: 1 Peter 2:9
If darkness (dishonesty) has been a part of your life, you can perform a spiritual overview and healing while alive. First, you have to ponder your dark side and agree to let it come out, as it is usually repressed deep within. Then, when you are ready, take yourself off for a couple of days on your own—someplace remote and quiet. Stay in silence and fast, meditate, and pray.
Allow the impact of your acts to come upon you, and once you have looked at that, all you have to do is own it. That is, you will have to see how you were responsible. Owning it is accepting that you inflicted pain on others, and you have to see how it must have felt for them as they became scared or sad because of your actions.
We all have darkness inside us, so you don’t have to feel especially guilty. Yet you can’t get to the Light without passing through the dark. The idea that you can escape it completely by just being positive is metaphysically People come to believe that being dishonest, covert, sneaky, and manipulative is normal. It is not; it’s very dark.
The metaphysics of honor are simple. You can’t hide from the truth. So you have to let go, humble yourself, look at the truth, and fix the bits that are less than best. Each of us has fear, hatred, and antagonism; each has cheated emotionally, financially, or sexually. We each have our transgressions. You rewrite history by looking at that. Perhaps it may result in your suffering a “dark night of the soul,” but it will pass as you grant yourself forgiveness. Gradually, the power of the infinity within you bathes you in a new light, and you are made whole. In this way, you complete your act of contrition.