Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 28: Choosing An Adoptive Family

Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Episode 28: Choosing An Adoptive Family

Choosing an adoptive family for a birth mother does a few things in addition to moving her along in the adoption process:

1. It makes her adoption decision real, she is looking at books of pictures of real families who are being presented to parent her unborn baby.
   1. This can create a myriad of emotions
   2. Some birth mothers try to postpone or delay looking at profiles because it feels “real” at that point.  While others actually find peace after selecting a family because now they can focus on getting to know the adoptive family and know that they are making a wonderful choice for their child
2. It can make a birth mother re-think her decision on which type of adoption she would prefer; normally this goes from closed to semi-open or open.  When she sees the adoptive families she may see them as non-threatening, non-judgmental and accept that she is making an amazing choice and it will be better for her to be able to see her baby grow up
3. Birth Mothers choose an adoptive family for reasons such as
   1. Type of Adoption Preference
   2. Location of Family
   3. Other Children
   4. Pets
   5. Stay at Home Parent vs Daycare
   6. Religion
   7. Lifestyle: Educated / Traveled / Hobbies
   8. Reason for adopting

This is what I see birth mothers do when looking at adoption profiles:

1. Look at the covers of all first and usually wind up picking the first book they pick up. 
2. Some read every word, while others skim through.
3. Some  cry while looking at the books.
4. All  love to keep the book after choosing a family so they can create a connection and “study” the book.