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0:00 - 21:00 Review of the USWNT's 1-0 win over China in the Women's World CUp quarterfinal, thanks to Jill Ellis stealing Jurgen Klopp's brain, Carli Lloyd's eight-foot vertical and Julie Johnston's inebitable appearance on the $10 bill.
21:00 - 33:00 Review of Argentina's Copa America quarterfinal win over Colombia, including Leo Messi on a one-man mission, the nearly unbeatbale David Ospina, Jose Pekerman changing his mind 24 minutes in, and Colombia players blaming the turf for their penalty kick misses.