Shit show Saturday just because we can bitches

The found water on Mars but yet you're still thirsty.

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, "A very good doctor".

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.