The good, the bad, and the WTF with Jana Banana  

I'm sure to any normal person I am acting foolish right now...but it's really how I feel.

When I got home from the gym tonight I checked my mailbox and found the new phone book on the front step.  Picture the scene from the "Jerk" where Navin looks in the phone book and finds his name...he is so happy because it is there and he is a real person.  As I looked for my name it was not there...just my husbands name. 

I am so upset. 

I asked my husband if he had my name taken out, why else would it not be in there...since it's been in there for over fifteen years.  He laughed and said he had nothing to do with it.  I feel like I have no identity.  He thinks I'm being foolish and is totally pissed at me about it. 

Well it's my true feeling...if someone were to look me up in the phone book they wouldn't find me.  They would probably think that he and I are divorced..which is probably going to happen now. (ok...I am a drama queen...but he is mad at me and I'm mad at him).  I asked him when he plans to take my name off of our checks.  Probably not the right thing to say to him since he is already pissed off.  Damn that damn Qwest! 

So, if any of you are trying to look me up in the new crappy Qwest phone book, I'm not there....I don't exist.  Now when someone asks for my information, I cant cooly say...I'm in the book, now I have to say I don't exist.

Since I was a little girl I dreamed of having a fairy tale wedding...didn't we all?  Well I did have a wonderful wedding (many, many, many years ago) but there was a glitch, or so I thought.
 

As my husband-to-be and I were standing in front of the church, exchanging our vows and waiting for the best man to produce the rings, my wedding took an unexpected turn.  The best man, Pat, proceeded to jump over my train and walked to the third pew from the front.  He kneeled outside the pew and sitting at the end was his girlfriend.  I was thinking that he forgot the rings...I was getting really, really irritated, back then I was a real control freak.  After a few moments I saw Pat take a ring out of his pocket...wait a minute...is that MY ring?!  Pat proceeded to propose to his girlfriend, Diane, and she accepted. 

At the time I was flabbergasted but managed to say congratulations as he made his way back to the front of the church and produced the rings.  For a while after my wedding I thought it was ruined.  It was supposed to be my day...right?  Well, after a while I softened and realized that everyone at my wedding, 300 plus people,  would never forget the wedding where the best man proposed to his girlfriend during the ceremony.

Today I found myself at a funeral, the funeral of our Best Man's Wife.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think my wedding would make the eulogy of someone other than my husband or me.  The deceased, Diane, our Best Man's Wife, kept a journal, and in that journal she had written about the proposal and how she was so happy, and it was the best day of her life.   As I listened I started thinking that I was blessed. (More blessed than I actually thought I was.)  It was my wedding where that special moment took place, where the two of them decided to make their life together.  I'm sad that she is gone and I hope wherever she is, she is at peace and happy. 

Life is funny.  Something that I thought was the worst possible thing to happen on my wedding day was actually someone else's most paramount moment of their life.  

As I age, I'm becoming more and more skeptical of the motives of others.  In my heart, I know that very few people will go out of their way to lie, cheat, swindle or steal, unless of course I'm dealing with psychopathic anti-social deviate, which I hope is not the norm.

I try not to be particularly paranoid about the ulterior motives of health care professionals, but today, after paying a visit to my dentist, I'm a little worried.

My appointment started out like any other bi-annual cleaning, until, of course, the hygienist pointed out that I had broken a tooth.  Not chipped, actually broken a tooth.  Oh yes, I forgot to mention that.  Well, I didn't really forget, I was hoping you wouldn't notice, no, wait, I thought it would just grow back.  It's a pretty big break, half my tooth is missing, if this were a noticeable injury, you can bet your butt that I would have called my dentist within moments of the accident.  But, this is on a side tooth, facing the back of my mouth and to me; it isn't that big of a deal.  I can still chew, talk, whistle and smile...and nobody notices that half of my tooth is missing. 

Anyway, after my cleaning, the hygienist escorted me to the office of the office manager.  The office manager began to tell me that she could get me in tomorrow morning to fix my broken tooth.  Ugh, the dentist, two days in a row.  Okay, sounds good.  Then she told me my portion of the expenses.  Let's just say my jaw dropped to the floor.  According to the tally sheet in front of her, the total cost to repair my broken tooth was $1000 for a crown, my portion being $500.  Um, NO, I don't think so.  Then, she asked if I could postdate my checks...I don't think so does that make is less?!  If I have to spend $500 on that dumb tooth, forget it, I will manage. 

About as fast as I balked, she told me to sit tight and she would talk to the dentist and she immediately disappeared.  Within moments she re-emerged with the news that they could "re-build" my tooth for $200, my portion being approximately $100.  I told her that I wanted to talk to my husband about it and I would get back to her.  At that moment, I think she was thinking that she lost the sale, so she told me that if I go with the re-building and it breaks, they will apply the monies I spent on that toward a crown.  Really?!   I have never haggled with a dentist.  I took the appointment and left the dentist office puzzled.  Why wasn't I given the option of either of those treatments in the beginning?!   How many other victims have sat across from the office manager agreeing to exorbitant dental procedures?