Shame - Part 2

The Physical Component of Shame The sudden feeling strong shame is an overpowering experience. Most would love to respond to shameful situations with dignity, grace, and poise. If only our bodies would cooperate. Instead: * We feel our faces getting warmer * We cannot force our eyes to look forward * Our heads bend toward the ground * Maybe our chest becomes heavy * Our heart might pound (we sense we are not in control of our bodies) * Some may feel an empty sensation in our gut * Time crawls as we are gripped in acute self- consciousness * We can barely talk * We are ashamed and can become ashamed of our shame Shame: Is almost always a physical event which includes 2 other physical responses * We start to feel smaller and smaller * The persons around us seem to get bigger, louder, and more dangerous Shamed people feel open, vulnerable, and exposed to others despite the effort to shrink down. Shame is very much a mental process. We do think about shame, and sometimes we cannot stop thinking about our embarrassments, defeats, and humiliations. Ending by calling ourselves terrible names. Here are thoughts that shamed people tell themselves: * I am defective (damaged, broken, a mistake, flawed) * I am dirty (ugly, unclean, disgusting, impure) * I am incompetent (not good enough, inept, useless) * I am unwanted (unloved, unappreciated, uncherished) * I deserve to be abandoned (forgotten, unloved, left out) * I am weak (small, puny, feeble) * I am bad (awful, dreadful, evil, despicable) * I am pitiful (contemptible, miserable, insignificant) * I am nothing (worthless, invisible, unnoticed, empty) * I deserve criticism (condemnation, disapproval, destruction) * I feel ashamed (embarrassed, humiliated, dishonored)