The Light Show  

Bonnie and I had an incredible conversation about relaxing into being ourselves, warts and all, and experiencing a new sense of freedom in general.  We wondered why we have been held back so long by the sense that certain aspects of our experience (any down emotion) was not acceptable.

We were informed by the story of the 14th century woman, who upon being asked by the court, "Are you a witch?", answered, "I was irritable with my family.  I must be a witch."  There was a way that her truthful experience was perceived from the outside AND from within herself as wrong... her life literally depended on NOT SPEAKING or even recognizing her own irritability.

Now we are entertaining the idea that our lives actually depend on SPEAKING our whole truth, on accepting all of our experiences, irritable as well as joyous, for the aliveness that comes from wholeness-of-Self is threatened if we do not!

I include here the chat room transcript of our call, because of the sweet nuances throughout... enjoy...

The Light Show:Welcome to the Conversation Campaign... listening and speaking as if our lives depended on our conversation...

The Light Show: Please check in...

Jeanie: I've been eating with gusto and appreciation for the first time in my life.

Bonnie: I was describing fairies in the lavendar bushes of a friend...

...being asked to find the fairies in a friend's garden...

...instead I actually found "fairy space" with the people...

...our time together was completely transparent

:..full of experiencing fun, freedom to just be, not worried if I was too much...

...all this work to find our divinity is beginning to pay off

Jeanie: the fairies were found, and they were Bonnie

:...fairies being expressed through you, Bonnie

... fairies are your translation device used to express the joy or quality of reality

... for me, wand and sprinkles are just images that convey what it's like to be in your presence...

... I might also say, Bonnie is the "joyful dancing of Being"

... the experience of Bonnie

Bonnie: Growing up, I wasn't as much a child as one would hope a child would be... lots of serious responsibilities

... now experiencing the child-likeness of my true nature, put on hold then...

... perhaps this is a lot of people's experience.  Many people put themselves on hold... e.g., Great Depression

...is this karma?  (by the way, in synchronicity, Sai Maa is transmitting a conference call right now...)
Jeanie: My parents were born in 1920 and 1927.  My Mom spoke about being very poor, eating lard sandwiches, not being able to attend birthday parties without gifts to bring...

Bonnie: My folks were born in 1917... undoubtedly carry-overs in how we raise our children...

Jeanie: children in history have been used economically; gradually we are coming to know children as spiritual Beings learning to be in bodies, as in Bali where I heard children are not allowed to touch the ground before they are two because their expanded spiritual nature is so recognized.

Bonnie: reflecting on the self-proclaimed witch who admitted her witchness because she had been irritable with her family...

... now learning to show my irritation...

... learning to let go of the "not nice" judgment of irritation...

... I would like to feel that at home... it is ok to be an imperfect human...

... without judgment from self or other...

... learning to know the qualities of irritation...what are they?

....new experiences of self...

... now speaking what matters (as if our lives depended on it)

Jeanie: what you are saying, in other words, historically it might have actually meant our lives to speak what matters
... now if we don't speak our truth, the world may lose some needed quality...

Bonnie: how do we learn to speak this new truth speak...

Jeanie: 2 wks ago, Bonnie, you came to the show grumpy... after that show and last week's show, I felt my irritation come free

... and offer something to learn...

Bonnie:  we need to honor each feeling... and find the learning...

Jeanie:  when I looked, I found messages from my body... tired, hungry, too long at the computer...

Bonnie: I'm actually embarrassed to be tired, bogged down, I feel my likability reduced

... people won't like me if I "complain"...

Jeanie:  I've discovered myself taking responsibility for others by controlling my own feelings... it's a way of staying powerful.  I've been using the metaphor that my expanded self doesn't like feeling less than completely powerful...

... So I sometimes imagine a conversation between my spiritual Self and my body-mind, where body-mind learns to be fully inhabited by Spirit, while Spirit learns to experience gratefully the limitations of body (like I can't control how another being feels!)
... some of the acceptance of Self in a body is Spirit learning to accept body limitations, perhaps not liking them, but finding the sense of humility to accept them, and eventually appreciate them

... the Godness in us, powerful, unlimited Beingness, having the experience of limitation... awesome!

The Light Show: To be continued... and all we need is love...

 

Bonnie and Jeanie speak about their evolving sense of freedom, to express irritation, to be fully and wholely themselves. As we live into this time of political polarity and economic crisis, something new is arising that may be called authentic conversation, where getting to the heart of the matter before us is essential, where conversations are called forth as if our very lives depended on them. The urgency of the times is a clear message to put aside our need to be right, and listen deeply to each other, to put aside our inner habits of moving away from what is painful, and speak our most authentic truths. Please join us every Tuesday and Thursday, as we, Jeanie DeRousseau (Gather the Women Global Matrix), Bonnie Kelley (Evolutionary Women) and Teresa Ruelas (Offerings Publications) offer our own learnings and those of others into this evolution toward real conversation. Only when we rest in what is so, in meaningful conversation with one another, may real change occur in the world. Only then may we evoke in each other the true knowings that we were born to express into this world. Only then will we be able to co-create the collective wisdom we embody for the sake of us all.

We had a rolicking exploration going in our last show... when we have an experience of any kind, can we generalize it?  Can we make it characteristic of any group?

I asked, is there something unique about the spirituality of women?  Do women already rest in an expansive state as mother-beings with particular hormonal states?  

And Teresa responded that something about the categorization... all women... didn't seem right to her...

Are we each unique?  Then, is uniqueness a category of identity for us keeping us from noticing what is the same?

Being real is being in this moment without a box around me... willing to be just me however that is experienced and presented in the spaciousness of this moment... it's quite a task.  

Do the boxes bring us safety?  Is safety required for us to reveal our authentic selves?

(Your thoughts and answers are deeply invited!) 

As Jeanie poses a question about women, Teresa questions the category of women (as a generalization), and reaches for a change in perspective. As we live into this time of political polarity and economic crisis, something new is arising that may be called authentic conversation, where getting to the heart of the matter before us is essential, where conversations are called forth as if our very lives depended on them. The urgency of the times is a clear message to put aside our need to be right, and listen deeply to each other, to put aside our inner habits of moving away from what is painful, and speak our most authentic truths. Please join us every Tuesday and Thursday, as we, Jeanie DeRousseau (Gather the Women Global Matrix), Bonnie Kelley (Evolutionary Women) and Teresa Ruelas (Offerings Publications) offer our own learnings and those of others into this evolution toward real conversation. Only when we rest in what is so, in meaningful conversation with one another, may real change occur in the world. Only then may we evoke in each other the true knowings that we were born to express into this world. Only then will we be able to co-create the collective wisdom we embody for the sake of us all.

Before the show Teresa, Bonnie and I spent some time exploring the core process we use in our conversations.  We remembered moments of feeling the depth of our experience evoked by one another, of times when synergistic conversation occurred because of our intention, when we failed to recognize an opportunity to expand awareness. 

 

Bonnie spoke the words, "embellish deeper" and Teresa loved the notion that we are "adoring the sacred".  Something in our collective field identifies and receives the essential experiences, and unfolds them into awareness.  We are a receiving field, actively listening, and intensely curious about the heart of the matter.

 

In our show today, we held that space for each other... to speak what it is we most LOVE about ourselves.  There was such a rich experiential process of speaking our self-love into our own receiving field.  Bonnie spoke about her child-likeness, Jeanie about her loving nature, Teresa about her sense of belonging.  What we spoke was not just our ideas.  Our speaking came from a deep re-cognition of Self, and in the speaking and receiving, we became more tangibly present to ourselves... on earth, in this dimension.

Today with a little bit of squirming, we state what it is we love about ourselves. We are seeking to understand the "as yourself" part of the Golden Rule... to love your neighbor "as yourself". As we live into this time of political polarity and economic crisis, something new is arising that may be called authentic conversation, where getting to the heart of the matter before us is essential, where conversations are called forth as if our very lives depended on them. The urgency of the times is a clear message to put aside our need to be right, and listen deeply to each other, to put aside our inner habits of moving away from what is painful, and speak our most authentic truths. Please join us every Tuesday and Thursday, as we, Jeanie DeRousseau (Gather the Women Global Matrix), Bonnie Kelley (Evolutionary Women) and Teresa Ruelas (Offerings Publications) offer our own learnings and those of others into this evolution toward real conversation. Only when we rest in what is so, in meaningful conversation with one another, may real change occur in the world. Only then may we evoke in each other the true knowings that we were born to express into this world. Only then will we be able to co-create the collective wisdom we embody for the sake of us all.