Good Sex Starts Outside the Bedroom

Outside the bedroom" means the rest of your relationship. If that is poor, lacking respect or affection, then your SEX life is likely to reflect this. Most people in a relationship say they want “good” sex.  But what does that mean?  What’s good for one person may not suit another.  Therefore, communication is absolutely up there on my list for ensuring a satisfactory sex life.  Your partner is not telepathic and is very unlikely to become so.  Many people think that if their partner loves them they should magically be able to read their mind – this is the stuff of fantasy.  Let your partner know what you like.  Ask your partner what they like.  Get chatty in a non-confrontational way – “I like it when you…”  “XXXXX doesn’t really work for me but when you XXX it does – you’re so good at that.”  Everyone likes to be praised, no one likes to be told their technique isn’t working.  We need to leave our egos outside the bedroom and realise that everyone is different and therefore each partner will have different needs and requirements and indeed require a different tempo or approach.  A desire to please your partner will start you on the right track.