Iranian Military Officials: "The Americans Will Know [Iran's True Power] When Their Warships, With Over 5,000 Aboard, Sink During A Confrontation With Iran"; We Are Prepared With Ballistic Missiles, Swift Boats, And Mines; "The Iranian Nation Will Hand Them [The Americans] A Crushing Defeat"
LATE BREAKING NEWS. THE TWO AMERICANS WHO WERE SELECTED TO FIGHT THE ENTIRE IRANIAN MILITARY HAVE REDESIGNED THE NEUTRON BOMB. IT IS PROGRAMMED TO KILL ONLY MEN. THEN WE WILL TAKE THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN AND WON'T THEY BE HAPPY.
BEWARE OF OPERATION CANDY, FLOWERS, KITES AND BURKHA BIKINIS. CAUTION: UNDER AMERICAN RULES WOMEN WILL BE PUNISHED IF THEIR BURKHAS ARE TOO LONG. THEY WILL GET NO CHAMPAGNE.