TodayHeather Pincelli and I will be talking about THRIVING after infidelity. Heather is a mental health counselor and coach who went through betrayal and decided to specialize in it to give partners the care that they deserve. She realized how much our mental health counselors and life coaches were not properly trained to hold space for and help with repair and moving forward after infidelity on the heels of her own marriage becoming shattered by the pains of infidelity. She explains that her then spouse had moved us 1500 miles away, uprooted us from our support, my job etc to what we were being told was a job he HAD TO TAKE. It turns out it was to move us to the town his mistress's plural yes plural-- lived in. I caught the affairs shortly after moving there. She did what so many do and immediately found a therapist and while paying this therapist $350 an hour he would nod his head and say to me oh this sounds so painful. Heather realized that his well intentioned empathy was not good enough and it motivated her to take action. Although she reached dark places, and became unrecognizable, she found resiliency. Today, nearly 6 years later she will tell you that whileit was incredibly painful and she acknowledges, "I would not have had to have that lesson and pain handed to me... I also am grateful for it!"
I had plenty of warning signs and red flags that my marriage was not good and it took this level of intense shock to my system to get my attention and dig in deep on me. The pain and process is hard but if you go THROUGH AND NOT AROUND it is so so beautiful. Her life saving belief is that you can use this pain for power!