Your spouse wants out of the marriage...but you don't.
In the process of trying to end the marriage, your spouse is trying to do things that you want no part of. Maybe s/he's spending time with the "lover" while still living at home. Perhaps s/he's demanding things from you that you don't want to give about finances, custody, selling your home, or more.
Your friends / family want you to punish your spouse for such egregious behavior and such arrogantly selfish demands. Your attorney counsels going for everything you can get. Your own hurt and anger tempt you to make this divorce a most miserable experience for your spouse.
BUT your spouse says you're selfish, that your standing strong is just another example of you trying to control him/her, and that everything you are doing is definitive proof that s/he can't live with you and that divorce is the best thing that can happen.
You find yourself worrying whether you should give in to most of his/her demands. You wonder if your standing strong and fighting for your marriage is building such anger and resentment in your spouse that never will there ever be a chance for reconciliation. You even have doubts about your own motives and fear that s/he is right and that you are a mean, selfish person and that the way you're standing strong actually proves that to be true.
Would you like to know? Truly know if you are doing the right thing...if you are controlling or mean? In this program Dr. Joe Beam discusses this in depth. You can also call in your questions or comments on this topic live at 646-378-0424 during the program. It airs Tuesday, April 26, beginning at 9 p.m. Central.