When people get married, there is an assumption and expectation for monogamy with their partner. Most newlyweds believe that they are immune to affairs and that it could never happen to them. Yet, many couples struggle with monogamy. From my research, I’ve found that (1) up to 70% of men and women would have an affair if they never got caught. (2) 40-60% of couples in marital counseling have not been monogamous and (3) an estimated 70% of married people breech monogamy whether it is a one-time hook-up encounter or longer lasting extramarital relationship.
If cheating seems to be the norm, what does this mean for marriage and a monogamous relationship? Are we hypocrites? Is the struggle much more than we are willing to admit? Are we fooling ourselves? Should we accept the “fact” that most people are not or cannot be monogamous? Do men need variety so much as to stray? Have women become more selfish? And what happens when we discover that our partner has not been monogamous / faithful? We will try to make sense of the idea of monogamy. Is it possible? Is it a worthy goal?
I am honored to have Peggy Vaughan as my featured guest on today’s show. She is a pioneer in this area. Author of several books, including THE MONOGAMY MYTH: A PERSONAL HANDBOOK FOR RECOVERING FROM AFFAIRS, Peggy is the founder of Beyond Affairs Network (BAN) and has helped thousands of couples over the years recover from extramarital affairs. She has appeared on dozens of television and radio programs, beginning with The Donahue show in 1980 and has been on Oprah twice and most of the major news programs. Please visit her websites at www.dearpeggy.com and www.preventingaffairs.com.