For some time now, I have experienced incredible pain living in the camp of civilization and have some how managed to traverse it, not without great strain and profound grief. I have sensed the despair of living here all my life and witnesses the brutality that sends up to take lives, others or our own. Finally the journalists are seeing the rise in what they call "deaths of despair" https://time.com/5606411/millennials-deaths-of-despair/. The increase of our young killing themeselves is skyrocketing. I have experienced this first hand. I want to talk about this from an anarcho-nihilst view best presented in Julian Langer's "Feral Iconoclasm" https://littleblackcart.com/index.php?dispatch=products.view&product_id=703 and Serafinski's "Blessed is the Flame" https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/serafinski-blessed-is-the-flame.