Can a relationship survice lies? What makes and individual tell lies in a relationship?
The first is out of shame or fear. Somebody may believe they won’t be accepted if they tell the truth about who they are, so they lie. You can see how religious communities that use shame and fear to motivate might increase a person’s temptation to lie. ----People who lie for this reason can get better and learn to tell the truth. Until they do, however, it’s impossible to connect with them, all the same.
The second kind of liar is less fortunate---Some people lie simply because they are selfish. These liars are pathological. They will lie even when it would be easier to tell the truth.
Liars sometimes claim to tell lies so as to spare the other person from pain. Sometimes they really mean it. But they can also be using that as an excuse to give themselves an out.