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Today...I do my show from my shower.
Why are people so against hummus lately? I think it tastes great!
If your girl wants a threesome with two guys...buy a Jeff Dunham puppet!
Finished somewhere in the bottom 5 at the comedy show last Saturday...makes me want to get better at my day job.
Another Maylasian airplane goes down...this time getting shot down. I'm gonna travel by boat from now on.
Is R.J. Mitte doing anything new these days? I heard he was doing a biopic of the man who's the world's fatest talker.
I'm naked as I type this...clothes are for suckas.
What would my grandmother say if she heard my foul fucking mouth?
Horny bitches get the new movie, 50 Shades Of Grey, coming soon to theaters. Meanwhile, guys get the new "FleshLight." Supposed to feel like the real thing, minus the constant nagging.