It feels more than a little ironic, that I
typically don't “feel” very angry, very often. But witnessing the
array of emotions I have been experiencing since the shootings, I am
wondering if the real question for me is, “what does anger really look
like for me?”
Raging is not my thing, so, I was
confused by my symptoms. I was expecting myself to act in a
stereotypical way to vent anger, which I guess, in looking back, I never
have. Did this 22 year old kid taking the lives of 6 people, including
a 9 year child make me angry? Yes. I felt very angry about it. But
the way I demonstrated it confused me. Having the glaring light of our
theme, made me watch myself in a way that I would not ordinarily do and
this is what I found and perhaps I am not alone.
I felt angry about the following things (these are my things, so don't worry if you disagree).:
Our mental health system is so badly in
need of attention, that a person who is obviously in need of help was
able to go into a store and buy an automatic weapon and ammunition with
no red flags of warning. We need to put our people first, so an
insane person is not overlooked or ignored.
Gun control laws in the state of Arizona
are out of control. Even as a vegetarian, I would not take away
someone's right to bear arms, but does a person really need a gun to go
into a grocery store? Didn't someone else already kill those chickens
for you, so all you have to do is buy them? Leave your gun in the car
when the only thing left to hunt is people, is what I think.
I have been afraid of something like
this happening since the 2008 election, when people would show up at
political events (right here in Arizona) armed. Should people be
allowed to go to a political event with a gun? I don't think so. Too
volatile an environment.
I felt deeply, deeply angry about a 9
year old child getting shot and dying. She didn't do anything to
deserve this, and neither did her family.
I felt angry that Gabby Giffords was
only trying to be here for her constituents, and this is the pay back
she gets. She was doing the right thing, and the outcome was
I felt heartbroken because as I watched
the national news with Tucson's mountains in the background, I kept
thinking, look how beautiful our town is... how could such an ugly
event happen here?
My symptoms from all of these angry things were as follows:
I felt powerless
I cried - a lot
I felt heartbroken
I can see why anger sometimes has been
confused for sadness or frustration for me. Maybe even hormonal
(gasp!). However, I now know, that my anger while, it may not be loud,
it is deep, and I must respect it.
I respected my anger by first
acknowledging it, then doing specific yoga sets to address it.
According to my yoga practice, “If you can feel it, you can heal it.”
So, I have been practicing, and working my way towards healing and most
of all – being grateful. Most people are not lunatics. Most people are
good. I am grateful to the majority.
I believe that everything happens for a
reason, and sometimes it takes a horrible tragedy like this to make
people stop and realize that what we're doing right now - it's not
working. What do you think that we can do to change the environment
that we are living in the US? What do you think needs to be done so
that more innocent people aren't being murdered on the street while
doing the right thing?Ana Lewisfounder WomenotheVerge.net
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