Sometimes I feel like the quiet angry woman and sometimes I feel
like the angry quiet woman. It's a balance... learning when to roar and
learning when to whisper. Sometimes I get it "right" and other times I
just don't. This topic comes as timely for me as lately I have
wondering about this very subject, but in slightly different terms. I
recently traveled to a place where art and artists was very prominent
and the people I spoke with were very verbal about their work and their
accomplishments. I, on the other hand, feel uncomfortable with that
kind of thing and I wondered... "Do I need to be better at promoting
myself and my work or is it ok enough to know that I believe in what I'm
doing and creating and that it will and is falling into place?" Same
thing with quiet and angry... it's like that old cliche "pick your
battles" - I had been known to be "too honest or gruff" so I tuned
myself down and after awhile I felt it made me resentful because I
wasn't used to keeping my mouth shut or honesty at bay... it's a
delicate dance... and more so for people who aren't used to being told
the truth or confronted about their actions... and I, in the past, was a
total confront-er! I had even lost a couple of friends for confronting
them about not doing the things they said they were going to do .... I
really took being honest and accountable very literally and I guess I
had to learn that it was just the way of the world and that I needed to
be more flexible than that. I was the accountable military! And the
funny thing is, is that it derived from me being totally irresponsible
and inconsiderate... and I realized I didn't want to be like that and
when I "woke up" the pendulum swung the other way! And still, to this
day, I grapple from time to time with whether or not to keep my mouth
shut... funny, when I got married the 2nd time time, my father's only
advice was "turn the other cheek" and "Keep your mouth shut." - 2
things that really go against my grain... and depending on the
circumstances, I either get made at him for saying so or thank him and
understand what he was saying. I probably would have no friends if I
kept being so honest and confrontational.... somehow, I became a person
who really dislikes injustice and I have always thought that if I were
in politics I would be dead by now because in the past, it was a
challenge for me to be diplomatic. So.... I have no wise answers or
anecdotes about whether a woman or a man should be quiet or not or let
their anger be known. I can only share the road I'm on, which is about
learning how not to be angry at me... and to speak up when necessary and
when I do, not to get so intense that I scare everybody away.
Passion... sometimes also is present in anger...emotion...is a natural
thing... and when felt, in my opinion, it should be honored...
By Robbie Kaye on her WomenotheVerge.net blog
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