RESPONSIBILITY - be the cause of your LIFE!

OK the theme for the last few days for me has revolved around responsibility - Having it not like being responsible as in blame or bad and wrong. BUT being cause of my LIFE!

But you could have fooled me!! All my life I was the "responsible one"- the one who did what NEEDED to be done, doing what HAD to be done. Always making sure everyone and everything was handled and taken care of.

What is wrong with that you ask? Well what about me? - how do I feel? - who is making sure everything is OK for me? - NO ONE not even me was looking out for me. 

The realization that responsibility is really be at cause of your life. What do I mean being cause of your life? - well looking at how you are causing things, people and situations that are in your life is being responsible. How you respond to how life is showing up is being responsible too!

Let me illustrate this point. I have always sacrificed and worked hard; like I mentioned above - putting my needs last or thinking if I work hard enough long enough and made sure everyone got what they needed and wanted -  everything would come together and happen for me BUT that never happened SURPRISE!

What was happening underneath was UGLY. I was doing things in order to get my way, to manipulate an outcome, to force things to happen, with expectations of what was to come to me. What I was missing is being honest with myself, honoring myself, knowing really what I want and putting my needs first.

You may think that sounds SELFISH at least that was my thinking BUT what has come to light for me is when I love and honor myself first - who I get to BE is someone who is genuinely LOVING, HAPPY, GIVING, SUPPORTIVE... the list goes on. 

It showed up like magic every time I felt myself upset, frustrated or angry - I stopped and looked at how am I causing this situation and how or where am I not honoring or loving myself. POW like magic others were showing up and teaching me by their actions.  I was not putting myself first. SO I responded by be RESPONSIBLE and in taking responsibility for the situation. I began to take actions to rearrange each situation by honoring what I really want, being honest with how I was doing things in order to, to manipulate an outcome, to force things to happen, with expectations of what was to come to me. No wonder I was upset, frustrated and angry - the people and situations in my life were only mirroring what I was putting out! Giving me more of what I didn't want. It was exactly what I really was putting out there.