Unemployed: A Memoir  

Are you "the working poor"? Meaning, you used to work for a lot more and now settle for a lot less. You have the experience and preparation for higher position, rank and raise and you've used your 401k until its a 101 or 55k now. You know that they use debit cards instead of the old "food stamp" book that people in the checkout line can spot a mile away. Yep, I'd say you're the working poor, and you're not alone!

Hello! I've survived spring sinus infections and losing my mom 2 days before Mother's Day weekend. The Foreword, Introduction, and first two chapters are on http://www.reggiegoodwin.com. I'll read starting with Chapter 3. I plan to bring on a Pastor who is a licenced counselor. Stay tuned.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."

Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities, English novelist (1812 - 1870)

I had two very strong reactions to President Obama's speech to the Joint Session of Congress last night: weeping and cheering.

I teared a little at the beautiful young lady next to First Lady Michele Obama: "We're not quitters." As a nation, we're not quitters, but we have been cowards, meaning we have not as Attorney General Eric Holder stated, acknowledged the impact of our past on our present global competitiveness.

Langston Hughes said in the poem "I Too": "they tell me to 'eat in the kitchen' when company comes. But I laugh and eat well and grow strong. Tomorrow, I will set at table when company comes, no one will dare tell me to 'eat in the kitchen' then."

Company has come. In the Jim Crow, segregated past, our economies were segregated as well. The world wasn't as interconnected as it is now. We are in competition with European and Asian countries that for the most part are homogeneous and had no need for a Civil Rights or Voting Rights movements due to that fact and the structure of their governments. One noted exception would be China's human rights struggles in general and specifically Tienanmen Square.

The president articulated such in his speech last night. We need "everyone at table" to be competitive globally. A failing school in a predominately African American or Hispanic district is a failure for America as a whole. To use a sports metaphor, there are less people to compete on the floor of the global basketball court and the same players are getting outrun and outgunned. When the drop out rates increase in such municipalities, the recidivism of the prison-industrial-complex is not the solution. So, everyone at table means we're going to have to solve the legacy of segregation and "Separate, but (Un) Equal" not only for this nation to be competitive, produce and sell, but to survive.

I cheered when President Obama stated we're going to stop giving tax breaks to companies that outsource American jobs. I have an Engineering Physics Bachelors from North Carolina A&T State University. I am a US Air Force veteran. I worked in the semiconductor industry in Process, Device, Manufacturing. Yield Enhancement and Product Engineering for 15 years. I was laid off August 26, 2003, my wife May 31, 2001. Our income has never recovered from our highest earnings at that point in time.

I now run into a lot of engineers and tech types that can't find employment. They may hear as I have that I'm "overqualified based on my years of experience." Technically, that's not saying I'm old, but the result of the twisted flattery is I'm currently underemployed as a commission-only sales rep and drawing on unemployment benefits. That's not the best usage of mine nor my fellow comrade's considerable talents.

I can be and a lot of others can be better utilized employed in this country, paying taxes and buying STUFF! This economy has slowed to a crawl because a lot of people like me - tech, HR and management types - have to do the delicate balancing act between dwindling assets, gearing up to pay for college and keeping a roof over the heads of our families. I honestly don't care how much cheaper you made it overseas: I eat and live over here!

I wrote an open letter on another blog regarding this to the previous administration. It's also published in the book: "Unemployed: A Memoir." I end this essay with the link to it. I doubt President Bush nor Congress read it. My hope is that it makes us all think about what we're creating for our grandchildren:

http://outsourcedamerican.blogspot.com/2005/09/chapter-19-open-letter.html

Superman is human after all...

I've taken a break from pod casting to experience my annual sinus infection!  Not that I enjoy this mind you, it's something I try desperately to avoid and I shudder to think how I'd sound on air.  I've thus avoided the show I'd usually call in on and this podcast.

My contribution:

My previous job at a small, right-wing somewhat low-tech firm fought my unemployment benefits.  Yes, I didn't write this book or blog "just for grins" - I live this.

I got a letter from state unemployment  that my rebuttal and tenure selling security systems was enough to kick-start my unemployment benefits.

That means, I unfortunately contributed to the dismal numbers that were being reported today and probably tomorrow.

However, I have been "underemployed" for several months, even at the small, right-wing somewhat low-tech with delusions of grandeur firm.  I'm starting to master "the art of the sale," but not to the goal of matching my previous income of $74,800.00/year.

Political footballs and stimulus

The amazing thing about the stimulus package is how little anyone knows about it.  Like the $350B we've spent that's... not coming back?  Or the need to spend billions more now.

That being said, I'm for something, ANYTHING to get me working at a level that allows me to pump up my 55k back to a 401k!

I'm typing on a big Dell nuclear blast furnace screen: I'd really like a flat screen.

Ditto on the 70s era televisions I own that are bathing me in radiation every day.

With a middle class income, I'd spend middle class money on gadgets, gizmos, clothing, vacations, restaurants, movies out, Amazon.com!

If I don't spend, YOU (and you know who Y-O-U are) don't earn any money.

Note to Corporations' Y-O-U from U-S: Laying off only ticks us off and we start buying at Wal-Mart and eating SPAM.  The economy slows to a crawl and then you lay us off and pay yourselves bonuses... for failure?

Is this vicious cycle working for Y-O-U yet?  (and you KNOW who Y-O-U are)

http://www.slate.com/id/2090424/

"Previous studies had demonstrated that as personal incomes rise, the propensity for suicide falls (presumably, money does buy some happiness).

"Marcotte couldn't test the relative "life improvement" of successful suicides—since they were, of course, dead—but he could study those who had failed at suicide to determine if their lives improved after the attempt. The results are surprising. Marcotte's study found that after people attempt suicide and fail, their incomes increase by an average of 20.6 percent compared to peers who seriously contemplate suicide but never make an attempt.  In fact, the more serious the attempt, the larger the boost—"hard-suicide" attempts, in which luck is the only reason the attempts fail, are associated with a 36.3 percent increase in income.

"Why should suicide be an economic boon? Once you attempt suicide you suddenly have access to lots of resources—medical care, psychiatric attention, familial love and concern—that were previously expensive or unavailable. Doubters may ask why the depressed don't seek out resources earlier. But studies have demonstrated that psychological and familial resources become "cheaper" after a suicide attempt: It is difficult to find free medical care when you are sad, but once you try to kill yourself, it's forced on you."

*****

We are our brothers and sisters keepers.  We live in high rises and suburbs and barely know our neighbors.  We front as if "all is well" when the world is crashing around us.  We are told to keep a "stiff upper lip" (ever tried it?) and to "lift ourselves up by our own bootstraps" and when we fail, it is utter.  We have no network to lean to, no one to ask advice of and we feel as if the world would be better off without us.

That's twisted, sick and crazy.

Love should not be a forced medicine.  Love is free and available.

Simply say "I love you," to your wife, kids, mother, father, sister, brother.  Hearing it will remind you the reasons you are here and are important.

You may never write a book.  You may never host a blog talk radio program.  You may never be famous at all.  You may find yourself as I was, slinging boxes in a large dark warehouse with a Physics degree, wondering why your luck is as it is and cursing the darkness, and as Job did: the day of your birth.  You may find yourself, as I, terminated from a job you hated due to their political persuasion (paid good money) and selling security systems door-to-door, telemarketing and getting cursed out as if that act increases the one who curses in worth and diminishes me.  I assure you: it is entirely opposite.

But those who love you think you are worthy of praise and honor.  Those who care about you count you among the stars.

And they would miss you dearly, if you put out your own marvelous light!

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/01/27/national/main4756957.shtml

"Lupoe, apparently distraught over job problems fatally shot his wife, five young children and himself at their harbor-area home Tuesday."

Ironically, Ecclesiastes 10:19 says "A feast is made for laughter, And wine makes merry; But money answers everything."

They were nurses.  Charged with their Hippocratic oath to "do no harm."

There were five beautiful children.

I've been down this dark place before as I've stated before.

I want to help those that find themselves defined by what they do and what they possess.

We hear it so often in church we can almost quote Luke 12:15 "And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consists not in the abundance of the things which he possesses."

I'm not trying to judge a tragedy.  Let me start with me:

I could have given 10% to my church, thereby helping others;
I could have saved 10% for hard times, thereby helping ME;
I could have prepared academically for transition to other avenues versus being happy as a "cog" in a well-oiled machine... until the machine decided it didn't need me anymore.
I could easily have gone down this dark path, though the thoughts that dominated me were how to end my own life.  It was a chance sermon and a comedic pastor that saved me.

I am not the abundance of things I possess.  Neither are you.  We are the abundance of people we help.  Our lives are short.  I notice now that the music I enjoyed as a young man are the recordings of dead singers.

I found anger at thinking about my losses.  Then, I got over them.  I found depression and powerlessness mourning what I could not resurrect.  Then, I blogged about them and published a book.  Then, I worked on being a better ME - husband, father, friend - and stopped comparing myself to others.  That's what keeps me sane.  I hope it helps you as well.

Living well is the best revenge.  So is dying surrounded by loved ones that remember the sum total of your life and good works and will miss you.  I have goals that propel me forward.  As I get older however, that one thing - dying well - since it's unavoidable, I savor that end more than any other.