Two Boobs and A Show  

Ah, the time has come...time to celebrate a truly American holiday. And what better way to spend it then by shoving food into our gaping pieholes and then falling asleep. Reminds me a lot of when I have sex.
I always like to remember the truth behind this holiday. A time when a people seeking freedom from repression made their way across the ocean to a new world. Along they way, the befriended Johnny Depp who helped them defeat the Kraken. Burgess Meredith and his golden owl sure helped them too.
When they finally landed on Plymouth Rock Out With Your ( Another Word for Rooster) Out, Native Aliens were there to meet them, holding trays of Chee-tos, freshly caught pike and Soylent Green. Now, that's good eating.

Eventually, Superman would come and spin the world backwards, making sure we celebrate this event every year.

Now let's get drunk.