Tuned In  

“It’s simply about a very special lady.” It was a line that started a very cool moment. As the program director of Z104, I was fortunate to help book some of the biggest artists and performers to play inside the Z104 Lounge. The Lounge was a forum we created for popular and up-and-coming artists to play for a small group of listeners who won their way inside through the station. In addition to playing their most popular songs acoustically, they would also answer questions from the station deejays and the audience. This intimate setting of around 100 people gave the artist an opportunity to talk about their passions, why they wrote the songs, squash bad gossip and more. It was a unique forum and a one-of-a-kind experience to see live music. One of the most exciting Lounges for me happened when I booked Lenny Kravitz to perform for the station. I accomplished a few goals with this event. First, when I told my superiors that I would be requesting it, no one believed it could really happen. Lenny is big! But, you never know until you ask, so I did. I pitched the record label and his management on the benefits of playing in this type of forum and they tuned in, thank goodness, and it happened! The second exciting moment happened on the actual day of the Lounge. It was truly a memorable event. From the moment Lenny came in to the dimly lighted room in Washington, DC that was covered with famous paintings and an air of royalty, it was just him and a guitar. He sat down on a stool and went into "Can't Get You Off Of My Mind" and had the room frozen within seconds. We all had chills, but little did we know of an even bigger surprise that was coming to put us over the top. It was imperative that our personalities come prepared so the artist would be comfortable during the Lounge. We would always focus on how you look, how you sound, and what you say. They would study the artist and try to write questions that were compelling and interesting, not just the standard boilerplate stuff. Our hope was to create enough of a comfort level that the artist would open up and provide something that no one had ever heard before that interview and/or performance. At the time, Lenny was promoting his "Baptism" CD which featured a very popular song called, “Lady.” We had all read the tabloids who had reported that he and Nicole Kidman had a fling earlier in the year, and because of the nature of the content in this song, our crew hoped he may discuss it. Again, you never know unless you ask. But, thanks to the way the question was asked by our persoanlity and the rapport he had built with Lenny up to that point, we got more than we ever imagined. The Z104 deejay said, “We know the song "Lady" is about a love interest or love affair but I’m curious about what your inspiration was for the song; relationships in general, the feeling you have when there’s a crush, or the general excitement of being in love?” Lenny says, “It’s simply about a very special lady.” But when the deejay stayed in the moment by being very curious and interested in the topic. He pushed a little further until Lenny says, “Do you want to know who it’s about?” Of course everyone wanted to know. So Lenny said, “Fuck it! It’s about Nicole!” GASP! We knew about the fling but until that moment I don’t think anyone knew he had written a hit song about her! What a gigantic scoop for the station! The deejay was perfect. He was curious, interested, prepared and gave Lenny a comfort level to reveal a big secret for everyone. It was truly a special moment. I was reminded of it today when I read an article on CNN.com Lenny Kravitz mum on Kidman mystery The article mentions that while Kravitz may be focused on the world, tabloids have been zeroing in on his love life. Earlier this month, former girlfriend Nicole Kidman told Vanity Fair that she was engaged briefly before marrying Keith Urban, but refused to name her fiance. When asked whether he was the mystery man, Kravitz replied: "I keep that to myself. I feel like that is private and it's between the two of us, so I just leave it there." Maybe the reporter could have been more Tuned In to him and walked away with a big scoop too. The key to getting Tuned In to your conversations is through rapport building. Neuro-Linguistic Programming for Dummies recommends the following: Take a genuine interest in getting to know what's important to the other person. Pick up on the key words, favorite phrases and a way of speaking that someone uses and build these subtly into your own conversation. Notice how someone likes to handle information. Do they like lots of details or just the big picture? As you speak, feed back information in this same portion size. Breathe in unison with them. Look out for the other person's intention — their underlying aim — rather than what they do or say. They may not always get it right, but expect their heart to lie in the right place. Adopt a similar stance to them in terms of your body language, gestures, voice tone and speed. Respect the other person's time, energy, favourite people and money. They will be important resources for them. You are the message. And you need all parts of you working in harmony: words, pictures, and sounds. If you don't look confident — as if you believe in your message — people will not listen to what you are saying. Rapport involves being able to see eye-to-eye with other people, connecting on their wavelength. So much (93 per cent) of the perception of your sincerity comes not from what you say but how you say it and how you show an appreciation for the other person's thoughts and feelings. Think about listening to your favorite radio station when they announce an interview with a big Hollywood celebrity. You’re excited because you’ve enjoyed the actor in several movies and hear he may be dating one of your favorite actresses and this interview could be the confirmation. But once the interview airs, the personality announces who he is speaking with and says, “What would you like to tell us?” instead of asking any specific questions. You become frustrated and bored with the interview and tune out immediately because you’re not getting the information you really want. The key to better conversations for you is build a good rapport with them and you never know what they might say...it just may surprise you. Lenny Kravitz's upcoming album is titled "It Is Time for a Love Revolution."