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31 years is a long time for anybody to actually hide who they are, but that’s how long it took me. I say 31 years because I really didn’t know anything was different gender wise until till I was 10 or 11yrs old. During the 1980's I was raised up by my adoptive family, 6 sisters, and 5 brothers. That’s right there was 12 of us (but only 2 were actually "HOME-MADE") the rest of us were adopted. I knew my parents loved me, they loved all of us to adopt and care for so many. We were raised in a good home, we were not a rich family, but we did ok. Me and my brother’s attended The Order of DeMolay, while my sisters attended the Order of Rainbow for Girls. Growing up with a family that big, I just kept my secrets to myself, afraid of saying anything that would give me away. I would hide in fear of getting caught, and ridiculed by my older brothers who all played sports and where the macho type.
Today I have been on HRT for over a year and half, My name has legally been changed in the state of Texas to Reflect "JESSICA Annette" -- I live and work as a truck driver in the oilfield, and though nobody at work knows that I am trans, I still feel good about myself because I am finally living my dream, and the best part is, that I actually did manage to tell my brothers and sisters after all -- it was my therapist who told me that I needed to bring all my walls of protection down, that I needed to tell my family, my therapist reminded me that if I tore down my walls, and my family did not like it, then they had the option to put that wall back up -- but even if they did put that wall back up, they would at least check around the corner of that wall and check in on me from time to time.
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It's good to talk.