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31 years is a long time for anybody to actually hide who they are, but that’s how long it took me. I say 31 years because I really didn’t know anything was different gender wise until till I was 10 or 11yrs old. During the 1980's I was raised up by my adoptive family, 6 sisters, and 5 brothers. That’s right there was 12 of us (but only 2 were actually "HOME-MADE") the rest of us were adopted. I knew my parents loved me, they loved all of us to adopt and care for so many. We were raised in a good home, we were not a rich family, but we did ok. Me and my brother’s attended The Order of DeMolay, while my sisters attended the Order of Rainbow for Girls. Growing up with a family that big, I just kept my secrets to myself, afraid of saying anything that would give me away. I would hide in fear of getting caught, and ridiculed by my older brothers who all played sports and where the macho type.
Today I have been on HRT for over a year and half, My name has legally been changed in the state of Texas to Reflect "JESSICA Annette" -- I live and work as a truck driver in the oilfield, and though nobody at work knows that I am trans, I still feel good about myself because I am finally living my dream, and the best part is, that I actually did manage to tell my brothers and sisters after all -- it was my therapist who told me that I needed to bring all my walls of protection down, that I needed to tell my family, my therapist reminded me that if I tore down my walls, and my family did not like it, then they had the option to put that wall back up -- but even if they did put that wall back up, they would at least check around the corner of that wall and check in on me from time to time.
It's good to talk.