The High Road  

A friend from Twitter threw a question out & specifically asked for feedback from me.  Funny how I was reluctant to answer. :-)  She asked why we men can't just communicate & say what's really on our minds.

Now of course you know this is a question that has much more of an answer than this little blog post will provide. But there are two reasons that come to mind right off the bat.  Men's minds have multiple tracks of thought. 

One track is focus. Whatever men are engrossed in at the moment is the most important thing at that moment.  It doesn't matter whether its important (solving a problem) or not important (just trying to not think).  Multitasking is really not a natural way to operate. Every thought has its own time & space. And most men just like to be about whatever it is they have decided to focus on as opposed to what you decide they should focus on.  Its my mind so let me use it the way I want to if you don't mind.

The second track of thought, and the one that may get me in trouble here, is a more subtle one. We men don't express ourselves as freely as we could in many cases because we are avoiding consequences.  Which I've come to learn is related to why we lie but that's for another post.  Men are always calculating on the outcome and unfortunately many times in a shortsighted way.  Open, authentic communication involves giving up the reigns of control and allowing someone to show you something about yourself that you might not want to acknowledge or focus on.  How many men you know are ready for that as soon as you get them home from the store?

Usually women want men to communicate about our feelings & emotions.  That is an intense area to deal in for men who have been conditioned to always have their dukes up.  When men give up that kind of control to someone else,through dialogue they are open to being judged, condemned, ridiculed, or just not accepted.  Who wants that?  Plus many times it leads to long drawn out dialogue.

Its easier to ignore & skirt around the real issue with a short quick answer.  Or deflect from getting to the heart of a matter by changing the subject. 

Now can I go back to dozing while I watch the game & Tweet my twits please?  :-)