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Living With HOPE Guest: Rebel Brown

  Broadcast in Health

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All my life I've been a perfectionist. No matter what I do, I don't quit until it's perfect. That drives a lot of people nuts, but it's just the way I am. I'm also the responsible one, the one you turn to no matter what you need. I take care of broken winged birds of the feathered and human variety, plus four-legged anythings. I've cared for people all my life – spending eight solid years caring for my dying mom and dad and another friend at death's door. It's what I do. I give and give and give some more. That’s my way of being perfect, to give myself away.

For 50 years I thought that roller coaster was normal. I joke about it with all my friends, who by now simply shake their heads and ask "What now?" For decades I assumed that being me, with all the great stuff, came with a crazy life. Even my therapist would shake his head. We'd explore all the triggers created in my small southern hometown with the tough little kids, explore why these events happened to me – what I was doing to create them? But we never found a way to stop the roller coaster.

 

Three years ago the roller coaster derailed and left me curled up in a ball on the floor of my kitchen, praying to whatever God to just take me, to let me die because I couldn't take the pain anymore. I'd been betrayed in the worst of ways by someone I trusted with my soul. He broke my heart, opening the door to a new world on The Other Side of Me. And so my story begins....

Tags:
depression
chronic fatigue
chronic illness
PTSD
chronic pain
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