Show Notes

• Archived Blog Post

  Date / Time: 10/15/2009 5:38 PM UTC

  What is the Downlow?
  

  When we hear the term the Downlow it most likely conjures up an image of a black man loving heterosexually by day and lusting homosexually by night. But is it realistic to characterize this as an exclusively black phenomenon? What is The Downlow really? First of all, when you get past the sensationalism, it's basically infidelity and a lack of regard for the well being of your partner. We all know that this may occurs in any relationship. Secondly, it's not new and it's not just men!

   

  It has also been implied that the Downlow is a major risk factor in the transmission of HIV/AIDS to black women. Is this the real HIV/AIDS transmission story? Pat Hill Collins, in her seminal book Black Sexual Politics states that:
  
  

  Because sexual contact constitutes one major trajectory of HIV contraction, the HIV/AIDS crisis reveals how the failure to criticise prevailing Black sexual politics places all African Americans at risk. Many Africian Americans fail to question dominant Black gender ideology and thus help replicate America's sexually repressive culture that takes special form within African American communities. For example, black men who confuse masculinity with dominance and take these beliefs into their romantic relationships place their partners at risk. Whether straight, gay, or bisexual, Black men who make "booty calls" without condoms foster the spread of HIV. Black women who confuse feminity with submission and weakness fare no better. When partnered with these same men, heterosexual African American women who try to be the "strong" Black woman can end up being sexually exploited, economically used, and abandoned when they can no longer compete sexually in the marketplace."
  
  

   

  I grew up hearing stories whispered of men having sex with other men and women having sex with women outside of heterosexual relationships. And, no doubt, this is an activity that extends beyond all ethnic boundaries. Is having an outside homosexual relationship any more egregious that a heterosexual one. Or does the shock and fear that the Downlow engenders a result of the homophobia of a patriarchal society.
  

  Even more fundamentally, is the Downlow a result of a society that stigmatizes it citizens for being authentic, whether it's your religion, ethnicity or sexual orientation. Instead of further alienating black men, further dividing already fractured relationship between black men and women,The Downlow, in my opinion, speaks to the lack of honesty and respect, a failure to come to grips with who we really are and the lack of intimacy and communication common in relationships. It is not an indictment of black men, but an indictment of society.

  Check out Heart of the Matter, an internet radio relationship magazine hosted by The FLOW. The October 25th topic is The Downlow.. Our guests are Lisa Durden, producer of the documentary film Project Wow: A Look Into The Lives Of Men On The Down Low and Terrence Dean, author of Hiding in Hip Hop: On the Down Low in the Entertainment Industry--from Music to Hollywood.

  • Tags:
  • homosexuality
  • infedility
  • gender
  • relationships
  • aids
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