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Can You Get Married And Still Keep Your Own Identity?

  • Broadcast in Women
Host Naimah Latif

Host Naimah Latif


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Marriage is a partnership between two people, a joining of two souls. "And the two shall become one" is the often quoted Biblical scripture. In Islam marriage is said to be "half the faith." Long time cultural traditions often submerged the identity of the wife into that of the husband when she married. If he is John Smith she became Mrs John Smith. Even in the recounting of history, throughout the Bible, families are spoken of in terms of "so-and so who took a wife and begat so and so" without ever naming the wife. Her identity was not important - even though she was the one who gave birth to the child! These longtime cultural attitudes still exist today. A man's title is Mr. as soon as he is an adult, but a woman is referred to according to her marital status, Miss, Mrs. or Ms., indicating if she is single, married or divorced or widowed. During the marriage a woman is often expected to submerge her identity, and even her life goals into that of her husband. This has caused conflict in a number of relationships in which women sought to assert their own ambitions or identities. Today we explore the case of three couples in which the conflict is based on one party feeling as if marriage has taken away their identity. How do you create a marriage which is an equal blend of two individuals?