SORT BY Relevancy
Have you recently had friends, co-workers, or strangers suddenly get pissed off at you for what seemed like no reason at all? Maybe you told yourself that they were overreacting or being too sensitive, or that they had no right to be angry when you clearly didn't mean to do whatever you did (and in fact aren't even sure what it was). If you're a socially inept type like me, I bet you've had this happen within the last month.
or those of us who aren't great with people, we figure that silence is always the safest bet. If you're an introvert, you spend so much of your time wishing that other people would just shut the hell up that you figure you're doing everyone a favor. So, you run into a co-worker at the mall and think it's better to pass by in silence than do an awkward stop-and-chat that you'd probably screw up anyway.
Then, after you pass by this person, you hear them in the aisle behind you mutter, "Asshole."
So What's the Problem?
This is literally the most frequent social mistake I see in my day to day. You didn't respond to the party invitation. You didn't reply to their funny text with a smiley. You didn't wish them a happy birthday. Now they're bitter and you're confused because, well, who would ever assume that silence is an insult?
If you're confused, think of it this way: If you apply for a job, which is worse -- a rejection letter, or no reply at all? The former is bad, but the latter is dismissive, and that's a thousand times worse. (Note: By far the angriest reaction I get to hate mail is when I don't reply at all.) That's how some people take your failure to speak to them -- like you didn't even open their resume before tossing it in the trash.
Letter written by a Brazil Female member of 7stage.com
The night of my first show, I run around my room, cleaning up, checking how the light looks, deciding where and how to sit, and figuring out what I should wear. I try to set up my room like I have seen in other girls’ shows. What am I doing? What have I gotten myself into this time? What if no one likes me? Home for Christmas break, I have a lot of free time on my hands while my mom works nights. I have never reacted well to excessive free time. It’s time to become Ariel, in live action for the first time. My heart starts to beat with excitement and nerves. I check my hair and makeup in my webcam, and am grateful for its low resolution. I turn on upbeat music and go live, staring at the room count and waiting for my first viewer to come in. The viewers don’t rush in like I had hoped they would. But I knew it would likely be slow at first since shows don’t make it to the front page of the site until they have thousands of viewers. A few people come in and out, their screen names passing through my viewer list too quickly for me to attempt to engage them.
After the show is over, I am drained and annoyed. The show took six hours and I only made $150. It’s not even worth the effort. I contemplate ways to avoid doing one the next night while knowing that I have nothing better to do and I should make some money. I just want to spend a night with myself without a single horny man, penis in hand, watching me.
Now offline, I complain to Blagus about the repetition in my shows. He suggests that I start off naked and set the show up so that there has to be a consistent flow of tokens in order for me to stay naked. He is convinced that the money will come in much quicker. I am skeptical. There is far too much , too many (free) exhibitionists, and too many girls that would be cheaper.
The Problem of Bullying in Schools
There is new concern about school violence, and police have assumed greater responsibility for helping school officials ensure students' safety. As pressure increases to place officers in schools, police agencies must decide how best to contribute to student safety. Will police presence on campuses most enhance safety? If police cannot or should not be on every campus, can they make other contributions to student safety? What are good approaches and practices?
Perhaps more than any other school safety problem, bullying affects students' sense of security. The most effective ways to prevent or lessen bullying require school administrators' commitment and intensive effort; police interested in increasing school safety can use their influence to encourage schools to address the problem. This guide provides police with information about bullying in schools, its extent and its causes, and enables police to steer schools away from common remedies that have proved ineffective elsewhere, and to develop ones that will work.
Bullying is widespread and perhaps the most underreported safety problem on American school campuses.1 Contrary to popular belief, bullying occurs more often at school than on the way to and from there. Once thought of as simply a rite of passage or relatively harmless behavior that helps build young people's character, bullying is now known to have long-lasting harmful effects, for both the victim and the bully. Bullying is often mistakenly viewed as a narrow range of antisocial behavior confined to elementary school recess yards. In the United States, awareness of the problem is growing, especially with reports that in two-thirds of the recent school shootings.
in The Bible
Unhealthy and destructive teaching can enter the church in various ways. Sometimes a biblical truth is taught to the exclusion of other biblical truths, producing a dangerous imbalance. At other times a biblical truth is taught in an exaggerated way, often going beyond what Scripture actually says, and in the end this does more harm than good. Many times clear, biblical warnings are ignored or reinterpreted so radically that they lose all impact or effect, leaving people vulnerable and exposed.
Paul warned that the “time will come when [believers] will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables” (2 Tim. 4:3-4). Today’s church in America, as a whole, is dangerously close to turning aside to such fables. Millions have already succumbed to these false teachings. Before we lose any more souls, it’s crucial that we identify what I believe are the seven greatest lies that have infiltrated the church and have led to a whiteout of error.
in Self Help
Susan Newman, Ph.D, a New Jersey-based social psychologist and author
“They put everyone else before themselves,” she said. For some, saying “yes” is a habit; for others, “it’s almost an addiction that makes them feel like they need to be needed.” This makes them feel important and like they’re “contributing to someone else’s life.”
People-pleasers yearn for outside validation. Their “personal feeling of security and self-confidence is based on getting the approval of others,” said Linda Tillman, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist in Atlanta, GA and assertiveness expert. Thus, at the core, people-pleasers lack confidence, she said.
They worry how others will view them when they say no. “People don’t want to be seen as lazy, uncaring, selfish or totally egocentric,” Newman said. They fear “they’ll be disliked and cut from the group,” whether it’s friends, family or co-workers.
What many people-pleasers don’t realize is that people-pleasing can have serious risks. Not only does it put a lot of pressure and stress on you, Newman said, but “essentially you can make yourself sick from doing too much.” If you’re overcommitted, you probably get less sleep and get more anxious and upset. You’re also “depleting your energy resources.” “In the worst case scenario, you’ll wake up and find yourself depressed, because you’re on such overload because you possibly can’t do it all,” she said.
a Story by: Meg Rosoff
About a decade ago, a friend I knew and cared about deeply told me that she was having an affair with her child's best friend's father. "My God," I said, swallowing hard. "That's complicated."
It was complicated all right. The families lived practically next door and were in and out of each other's houses all the time. But neither marriage was good. And my friend swore that this was the real thing.
The problem was her daughter. She worshipped her mum, watched her like a hawk. And though she was only six, she was one of those strange, precocious children who gets inside adult heads and roams around, looking for stuff. Like the fact that her mother was madly in love with someone other than her dad.
"You can't keep lying to her," I said.
"No, no," she assured me. "It's not a problem. She doesn't suspect a thing."
I looked at her. "She knows. She doesn't know what she knows, but she knows."
And she did. If ever a child knew something was wrong with her family, it was Evie. She had developed a heartbreaking look of puzzlement in the company of her mother, searching her face for answers.
I notice those children now, the ones people lie to. Like all children, they are studying the world, struggling to learn the rules of engagement. Except that, for them, life doesn't make sense because their instincts are negated. So they begin to twist in an attempt to accommodate a world full of half-truths.
An American woman visiting friends in London a few days after the school massacre in December 2012 in Newtown, Connecticut, asked the friend's family (two adults, three teenagers) not to refer to Newtown for the duration of their visit and not to turn on the news in case her children might overhear distressing stories.
Most Gay's are in the closet even as Adults
Coming out refers to telling people that you aren't straight. These days, kids are coming out younger than ever before. When I was a teen in the 1990s, some teens came out in high school, but a lot more waited until college to do so. Now, middle schools across the country have openly GLBT kids.
There are a lot of reasons kids are coming out earlier. A lot of these, (like the fact that there is more support for GLBT issues and more awareness of them), are really positive. But while it can be great to be open about who you are from a young age, coming out in middle school can present unique challenges. Here some kids share their experiences and fears regarding coming out in middle school.
Focus. Focus. Focus.
Many first-time entrepreneurs feel the need to jump at every "opportunity" they come across. Opportunities are often wolves in sheep's clothing. Avoid getting side-tracked. Juggling multiple ventures will spread you thin and limit both your effectiveness and productivity. Do one thing perfectly, not 10 things poorly. If you feel the need to jump onto another project, that might mean something about your original concept.
Know what you do. Do what you know.
Don't start a business simply because it seems sexy or boasts large hypothetical profit margins and returns. Do what you love. Businesses built around your strengths and talents will have a greater chance of success. It's not only important to create a profitable business, it's also important that you're happy managing and growing it day in and day out. If your heart isn't in it, you will not be successful.
No, I'm not your mother. However, I promise that you will be much more productive when you take better care of yourself. Entrepreneurship is a lifestyle, not a 9-to-5 profession. Working to the point of exhaustion will burn you out and make you less productive. Don't make excuses. Eat right, exercise and find time for yourself.
Don't fall victim to your own B.S.
Don't talk the talk unless you can walk the walk. Impress with action not conversation. Endorse your business enthusiastically, yet tastefully. Avoid exaggerating truths and touting far reaching goals as certainties. In short, put up or shut up.
Parents are left out the Loop!
I can remember the day when I realized that my dad didn’t know everything. I was in elementary school and was tasked with a science experiment. Science is not my thing – never has been. I had chosen to test something with a potato and had no idea how to do it. I asked my father for help. He instructed me on what to do and I was all set.
Days passed and nothing happened with the potato. I brought it into school and saw that other students had theirs set up a bit differently and their potatoes were responding. Clearly we’d done something wrong. When the other kids pointed this out to me (in that oh so polite way of laughing at me), I felt embarrassed. How could my dad not know this? He knew everything!
It’s an odd moment when you realize your parents are not infallible, all-knowing, all-everything. And perhaps more so when it’s your dad. For me, dads are supposed to know how to do everything from tossing a football, to painting a room, to fixing a clogged toilet.
Kathryn Knight, 40, is a writer and lives in London with her husband Duncan Adams 30, a civil servant. She says:
I gave up nightwear quite late. During my years of flat-sharing in my 20s I was a devoted wearer of incredibly unsexy nightwear: buttoned-up, long-sleeved, ankle-skimming PJs decorated with cute animals. They got discarded at the request of the first boyfriend I moved in with who was a fan of letting it all hang out once bedtime beckoned.
I found I liked the sensation of clambering into bed unencumbered by clothing, of nothing coming between me and my crisp cotton sheets. And so, when the relationship ended, I took the habit with me.
I’ve never gone back, especially since, when I met my now husband seven years ago, I discovered he also liked to sleep naked and was astonished at the very notion of sporting nightwear.
'I adore being skin on skin with my man'
Of course, I’m sure he would periodically like me to shimmy in to bed wearing a piece of satin sauciness — certainly, encouragement has been shown in that department, gift-wise — but while time has marched on since the early days of our courtship, he apparently remains happy enough with my naked form beside him.
Long may it continue: skin on skin sleeping has a lovely intimacy about it, and I intend to enjoy it for as long as I can avoid the inevitable slide into flannelette. Going to bed in the nip is my last stand against the relentless approach of middle age.
Dear Yash Radio:
My husband just told me that he is “Addicted” to sports. Not playing them, but watching them. Football in its season. Baseball in its season. Basketball… He said tonight that he is happy when his team wins, sad when they loose, and depressed when they blow it. He is guilty whenever he is watching it because, I don’t like to watch sports on TV.
He listens to sports in the radio in the car. Thinks about it all day at work. Probably dreams it at night. Watches at least 15 hours of it a week. Why do baseball games have to be so long?!!
Sports is affecting our relationship. He doesn’t just play with our 2 1/2 year old son. He has one eye and ear glued to the game on TV. When we finally get out of the house on the weekends, he rushes us to get home before the start of a game. No more hiking. No more walks on the beach which is only three blocks from our house! No more exercising together. He even bought a second TV so that he wouldn’t feel too guilty, since our son and I could sit in another room watching a different show…
Is this addiction? Am I assisting in some co-dependent way? Should I take off with or without our son to do the fun outdoors things that we used to do (only alone this time)? When I do go out, with my family or a friend, he gets really depressed.
He probably grew up like this, and just hid it long enough for him to catch me. We are gaining weight on that couch. Our son is getting older. And we don’t have the family memories to keep me happy.
Plus. He promised me over 3 years ago he would quit smoking. I know it must be hard, but he smokes at work. I don’t let him smoke at home, but if he goes to the store (for beer to drink with the game…) he smokes. I’m a high school teacher. He works on a computer all day. We can’t afford his beer and cigarettes.
What can we do?
1. Let’s talk patients and the public in research Simon Denegri, NIHR National Director for Patients and the Public and Chair, INVOLVE (UK)
2. “If I can be part of [the trial] it is a good thing. Without the volunteers they can’t progress this forward.” Ruth Atkins NHS employee, mum and Ebola vaccine clinical trial participant
3. Are we a research active nation? 1 60 634,000 3,000,000 11.2 Million
4. UK leadership in public involvement in research • International leader in public involvement • Core principle of National Institute for Health Research (NIHR) • Clear expectation set with research community • £ Investment and practical support