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“Children of all ages feel betrayed and abandoned when their parents divorce because their cozy nest is disrupted,” Lieberman says. “This even upsets kids who are already out of the nest. The message their parents are sending is that it is more important for them to have a life of their choosing than to remain in their prior, primary role of mom or dad.” The result: strained relations, uncomfortable moments for everyone and, for you, the feeling that your children may not have your best interests at heart.
Sometimes there are psychological reasons for an adult child resisting a parent’s new love life. For instance, a young woman may be especially sensitive when her father forms a serious new relationship. “She may feel her dad prefers the 'other' woman to both her mom and herself,” Lieberman says.
“It comes down to jealousy,” says Dr. Itamar Salamon, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at theAlbert Einstein College of Medicine in New York City. “Children, even when they’re grown, get attached to being important in their single parents’ lives, and they resent it when someone gets between them and the parent.”
PHRASES like “tiger mom” and “helicopter parent” . But does overparenting hurt, or help?While parents who are clearly and embarrassingly inappropriate come in for ridicule, many of us find ourselves drawn to the idea that with just a bit more parental elbow grease, we might turn out children with great talents and assured futures. Is there really anything wrong with a kind of “overparenting lite”?
Decades of studies, many of them by Diana Baumrind, a clinical and developmental psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley, have found that the optimal parent is one who is involved and responsive, who sets high expectations but respects her child’s autonomy. These “authoritative parents” appear to hit the sweet spot of parental involvement and generally raise children who do better academically, psychologically and socially than children whose parents are either permissive and less involved, or controlling and more involved. Why is this particular parenting style so successful, and what does it tell us about overparenting?
For one thing, authoritative parents actually help cultivate motivation in their children. Carol Dweck, a social and developmental psychologist at Stanford University, has done research that indicates why authoritative parents raise more motivated, and thus more successful, children.In a typical experiment, Dr. Dweck takes young children into a room and asks them to solve a simple puzzle. Most do so with little difficulty. But then Dr. Dweck tells some, but not all, of the kids how very bright and capable they are. . They also exhibit higher levels of confidence and show greater overall progress in puzzle-solving.http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/05/opinion/sunday/raising-successful-children.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
LIVE: MY CHILD HATES all MY DATES what can I Do HELP ME!!!
When I introduced my son Brad, then age seven, to my new boyfriend, Brad introduced himself by biting him on the arm,” recalls Donna Peters of Seattle. “I was torn between running after Brad, consoling my boyfriend and dying of embarrassment.”
The boyfriend laughed it off, Brad eventually apologized, and Donna’s injured ego recovered. The teeth marks didn’t last, but neither did the relationship. “My boyfriend tried really hard, but he and Brad just never hit it off,” she says. “And I couldn’t see dating someone my son didn’t like.”
Sometimes you’re bitten by the love bug, and sometimes the love bug’s kid bites you. So what can single parents do if their children continue to dislike their dates long after the first meeting? Here’s the expert advice that works:
DON’T LET FOOLS RUSH IN
“Your children shouldn’t know you’re dating until the relationship is serious,” counsels Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist and author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. She suggests giving your kids time to get comfortable with the idea that you are seeing someone before making introductions. “If you pressure your children to like your date, or go too fast for them to get comfortable with the situation, you’re asking for a lot of trouble.”
- See more at: http://datingadvice.chemistry.com/for-single-parents/help,-my-kids-hate-my-date!/#sthash.n3OQQZkB.dpuf
1. Choosing Commitment
Love isn’t just about feelings. It’s a decision. A commitment to put your relationship above everything else gives you an immediate edge. While commitment isn’t as “sexy” a concept as romance or passion, it is undeniably the sturdy foundation for lasting relationships.
2. Making No Room for Self-Centeredness
Unlike your job, your relationship decisions are not made in the boardroom where you have to constantly fight for your position or promotion.
3. Practice Honest Communication
Admit it – we’re easily irritated when our partner doesn’t get it. We would assume that after being in the relationship for so long, our partner would just pick up on unspoken signs that we’re tired, irritated or hurt. If your partner isn’t Professor X or Jean Gray from the X-Men, then that could not be further from the truth.
4. Show Appreciation and Give Thanks
One of the basic human desires is to be appreciated. Many couples agree that they can always do with a little bit more affirmation from their partners and they also agree that they can afford to develop a habit of showing more appreciation too.
5. Don’t Just Reminisce about Old Memories, Create New Ones
Studies have shown that boredom can inflict harm on relationships. So be proactive about adding some color to your love life!
6. Apologize and Forgive
Forgiving is an act that liberates you from anger, so seeking fo
slow jamz on a Sunday with rula brown
Our special guest this week, Ian Sweetness. He'll be giving us a shout and we will be playing some of his most exellent tunes, a sneak listen to his, as yet unreleased, new song Cowboy Master. Our friend Suba Subajah, out of Martinique, sent us a couple of his beautiful tunes this past week. Wonderful vocals and nice groove, Voice of Freedom. Thank you both for sharing your work with us today.
Coming to you live from Costa Rica and brought to you by the La Reserva Forest Foundation (LRFF). We invite you to participate in this most interesting and interactive show by calling in or participating in the "green" chat room. LRFF is working to solve climate change and lost resources by restoring the tropical forests in the "lungs of the world".
Climate change is our continuing topic. It's being caused by human activity not volcanoes, solar activity or a universal conspiracy. This is a platform for everyone to tell us your views on cc, ask questions about this most important issue. The majority of people are very uninformed about cc because it has become unmentionable in the mainstream media. Talking about it is the first step to solving it.
As always great roots and culture music plus interesting Caribbean news and events.
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Celebrity Link : Featuring 15 of jamaica's Reggae Music Child prodigy
Dennis Brown was born in Kingston, Jamaica in 1957. Hailed as a child prodigy
Alaine – Many older Jamaicans will remember Alaine as the little girl with the angelic voice from the popular 1990s Victoria Mutual Building Society ad, but she had actually made her debut a few years earlier in the movie Clara’s Heart, starring Whoopi Goldberg and Kathleen Quinlan
Jimmy Cliff – Singer, musician, actor and all-around global superstar Jimmy Cliff began his illustrious career while in high school by entering a number of local talent contests. By the time he was 14, Cliff had released several hit singles
Beenie Man - ”Me a chat microphone from about ’79 – from Lee’s Unlimited an’ all Volcano time.” Beenie Man, as Moses Davis is more widely known, is a childhood nickname gained because of his slight stature. Back in his early days, he could hardly be seen behind the amplifiers on the sound system stage, but Beenie Man was certainly a star in the making
Nadine Sutherland – Eleven-year-old Sutherland burst unto the scene in 1979, besting Yellowman and Paul Blake (who later became the leader of the Bloodfire Posse) in the first Tastee Talent Contest.
Junior Tucker – Leslie ‘Junior’ Tucker was born in Trench Town. The child prodigy, who came from a family of singers, was even nicknamed the Jamaican Michael Jackson because of his extraordinary talent
Ziggy Marley and the Melody Makers - David ‘Ziggy’ Marley, eldest of the Marley offspring, doesn’t consider himself a child star, although his career began in 1979, when the 11-year-old, along with siblings Cedella
There is also a blend of 11 oils, called ClaryCalm (formerly called Solace) that helps relieve the pain of cramping. It is a great multi-purpose oil for females as it also provides relief from nausea, hot flashes and the emotional swings that come with the hormone cycle. ClaryCalm is a blend of Clary Sage, Lavender, Bergamot, Roman Chamomile, Cedar Wood, Ylang Ylang, Geranium, Fennel, Carrot Seed, Palmarosa and Vitex. It also helps support healthy hormone levels, PMS and Menopause. It comes in a 10 ml roll on bottle which is great because you can stick it in your purse and apply the oil easily even when you are not at home. I haven’t personally used theClaryCalm because I don’t have a lot of female issues. However, I’m going to get some to have on hand because there are times when I think I’m a little more emotional due to hormones. Again, I would recommend the hot compress if possible if you are treating cramps. For treating nausea, hot flashes and emotional swings, I would recommend putting ClaryCalm/Solace on the bottoms of the feet (because thepores are larger there). Putting it over the heart will help with mood swings. If you are somewhere where you can't apply it, just opening the bottle and inhaling it will help.http://healingheartoils.blogspot.com/2012/11/treating-menstrual-cramps-with-doterra_8.html
From every avenue we are being spoon feed a crock of lies. Our mind is being told to look and not see, hear and not understand, processing oatmeal then regurgitating misinformation.
From what's going on in Africa, to the Middle East to right here at home. Wars, rumours of wars, skrimishes, planes being bombed. What do we make of all this commotion?
How does it effect our daily lives?
What do we unsderstand about the past, present and future and how the game is being played over and over again, but because we, being new to the neighborhood, do not remember the lessons of the past.
Many of us believe that what is done by our nations is not our responsiblity, but it is all done in our name, with our taxes. Can we sit by while the world burns and say, "My four and no more? "
We will talk about this and much more on I was just thinking...
"Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted, the indifference of those who should have known better, the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered the most, that has made it possible for evil to triumph. "~ Haile Selassie
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LIVE: ISLAND RHYTHMZ EXPERIENCE SHOW-Reggae/Dancehall top 20
Is a collection of music from the islands and around the world
LIVE: Cruzing Sundays music for the soul with Dj King Mohican
Featuring the #1 Sound System in Texas Prinz Pulla originally out of St Mary the real rub a dub sound with king mohican @ the control playing real authentic reggae music and gives you the history about the music. Prinz Pulla is avaliable to play at weddings , birthdays , Parties or any special occation
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SPORTS Chat On Location In Jamaica Live! Live on Location in Jamaica the Sports Chat.This is a very serious issue which we will address aggressively,” Paul said in a statement. He added that the union would be expanding its relationship with Kevin Johnson, the mayor of Sacramento, who is the chairman of a committee of businesspeople helping the union fill its vacant executive director position.
For his part, Johnson said, referring to a disturbing racially tinged conversation Sterling was said to have had with a female friend that was made public by the gossip website TMZ, “If the reports are true, there needs to be strong and swift action taken.”
Remarks Linked to Donald SterlingAPRIL 27, 2014
Paul happens to be the point guard and leader of the Los Angeles Clippers, owned by the octogenarian Sterling, a longtime behavioral embarrassment to the N.B.A. who now also looms as a business impediment. It was Paul who recruited Johnson, a former star player turned politician.
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