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In this Part Two Radio Show the conversation deepens, about how our powerless behaviors are NOT logical, and why we REALLY do them, as well as how to REALLY heal them.
Also we will look at how co-dependency, independency and interdependency work, and how to move through the different levels.
Also we investigate how we can not only up-level ourselves, but also the important relationships in our life, to a new level of "sharing power" instead of taking it or handing it over.
And much, much more ...
Because it is nearly the end of the year, this is a great time to reflect – to see where we are, and what we have grown through this year.
I believe a big part of that is checking in with where we are at with co-dependency. Are we still handing power over to things and people outside of ourselves, or are we more anchored into our own internal solidness?
“What Is co-dependency?” My definition of it is this: “trying to seek wholeness and internal peace from sources outside of self, rather than establishing those states within self”.
What this means is: we can feel empty, fragmented, afraid and powerless when things don’t go right, or life hasn’t turned out the way we wanted it to. We can get panicked and feel unsafe, and in this state we can hand our power over and make repeated choices which don’t serve us.
Co-dependency can be very serious. It leads us further away from integration of self (authentic powerfulness) and takes us down a slippery slope of disintegration of self (powerlessness) – especially if we continue to hold people and things outside of ourselves responsible for the state of our lives.
This radio show is a Part One deep spiritual journey into why we are co-dependent, the many ways that it manifests, and how we can shine light into our disowened parts in order to become a true Source to ourselves, rather than trying to gain false substitutes for love, worthiness and wholeness.
How Do Co-dependent People Behave?
Co-dependents have low self-esteem and look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better. They find it hard to “be themselves.” Some try to feel better through alcohol, drugs or nicotine - and become addicted. Others may develop compulsive behaviors like workaholism, gambling, or indiscriminate sexual activity.
They have good intentions. They try to take care of a person who is experiencing difficulty, but the caretaking becomes compulsive and defeating. Co-dependents often take on a martyr’s role and become “benefactors” to an individual in need. A wife may cover for her alcoholic husband; a mother may make excuses for a truant child; or a father may “pull some strings” to keep his child from suffering the consequences of delinquent behavior.
The problem is that these repeated rescue attempts allow the needy individual to continue on a destructive course and to become even more dependent on the unhealthy caretaking of the “benefactor.” As this reliance increases, the co-dependent develops a sense of reward and satisfaction from “being needed.” When the caretaking becomes compulsive, the co-dependent feels choiceless and helpless in the relationship, but is unable to break away from the cycle of behavior that causes it. Co-dependents view themselves as victims and are attracted to that same weakness in the love and friendship relationships./
Dr. Joy DeGruy - Keynote Address: History, Justice, and Healing: When Race Amity Counts/
What Is Consciousness?
LIfe Coach, Author, Radio Talk-Show Host, Nazim Rashid is the guest speaker today talking about Co-Dependency and Addictions. His talk today will be take from 2 chapters in his book Reconnected-How To Be A Mentor To Your Child-Self. The chapters are Attachments, Co-Dependency and Addictions and 12 Principles of Recovery. So many are under the dominating power of addictions and co-dependency and it is not just drugs and alcohol. Husbands habitually abusing their wives and the wives have the same problem. Many of us cannot stop overeating and are ashamed of looking at themselves in the mirror. Depression has their name on it and then they eat again to get over the depression. Many of us are co-dependents and cannot express your true feelings for fear of getting abused again by their mates. Fear keeps them in those relationships. This is what will be talked about on today's show. Solutions will be discussed through the 12 Principles of Recovery. Nazim Rashid's website is www.cloudsofabundance.com and his email is firstname.lastname@example.org - His book Reconnected can be purchased through his website and Amazon and Barnes & Noble sites.
in Self Help
Today we have author and international healer, Jennifer Elizabeth Masters as our guest speaker on this re-broadcast show addressing the topic of Co-Dependency and Addictions. She says, "Everyone at some point has issues with codependency and addiction. Underneath it all are feelings of not being good enough. Focusing on ourselves with a soft focus instead of beating ourselves up changes our perspective. We are very hard on ourselves. Being compassionate, loving and tender with ourselves is what The Divine wants from us. It does no one any good to be self deprecating. Self love is the key to healing all emotional suffering and pain.
Tonight I am joined by the author Dr Lesly Devereaux. She will share practical ways that we can break codependence at any point in time, and the sooner the better! What differentiates Breaking Co-Dependency, (order the book @ http://www.breakingcodependencybook.com) from other books on this topic is that you are brought into the life of the author as she navigates being incarcerated while reflecting on the enabling behaviors that put her there in the first place. Through the narrative of the author, a courageous speaker, coach and ordained minister, we are provided a valuable reference on how to break codependency. Its real value begins with the recommendations of how to stop enabling others.
Dr Lesly says....Deal with the demons of enabling; don’t run from them. Running from your problem will only exhaust you. You have heard the expression: you can run but you sure can’t hide. This is true of any situation that you find yourself in which requires you to face ugly truths about yourself. It always seems easier to act like your problem does not exist as opposed to facing it head on. The tendency to avoid internal confrontation is appealing, but it never works.
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Thank you for your continued support for this show
Life Coach, Personal Development Specialist, Author and Radio Talk-Show Host, Nazim Rashid is the guest speaker today to continue his discussion on Co-Dependency and then onto the 12 Principles of Recovery, which is in his self-help book, Reconnected-How To Be A Mentor To Your Child-Self. Enabling relationships hurts both parties as they are not challenged to grow as independent thinkers as God has designed them to be. They operate from the place of Fear and not Freedom. The 12 Principles of Recovery provides the step-by-step, principle-by-principle ways to free yourself, once and for all, from co-dependencies and addictions. You can order your copy of Reconnected by going to this website: www.cloudsofabundance.com
LIfe Coach, Personal Development Specialist, Author and Radio Talk-Show Host, Nazim Rashid will join us again continuing the discussion on Co-Dependency and Addictions. He will talk about the various family roles that are played in dysfunctional families and how this is related to how we perceive leadership in our communities. Unhealthy relationships between religious leaders and political leaders and their respective communities are related to unhealthy relationships developed in childhood. Nazim will also begin looking at the addiction process and how this affects the individual, their relationships and community life.
Life Coach, Author, Personal Development Specialist and Radio Talk-Show Host Nazim Rashid is the guest speaker continuing his needed discussion on Co-Dependency & Addictions. He left off, from the last discussion, with comparing the dysfunctional family roles many of us have played in childhood to the roles many of us are currently playing in our communities. The Hero, Caretaker, Scapegoat and Counter-Dependent roles were played as a survival technique and continue to rule our lives and then we wonder why our lives are not fulfilling, loving and harmonious.
One of the identifying characteristic of a health relationship is that the people involved have the ability to establish health boundaries. So what are boundaries? Think of a fenced in backyard. A fence is designed to keep things out and at the same time keep things in. Jennifer Kass (2013) made the following statement about a yard that doesn't have a fence:
"When you find yourself having difficulty saying “no” to others, doing things out of feelings of guilt or obligation, attempting to please others even at the expense of what's best for you, or not expressing your thoughts and feelings when someone upsets you, you are putting yourself last and putting others first — which doesn't serve any of the parties involved."
When we fail to set boundaries, relationships seldom grow. Want to learn more, join us today as we continue our discussion on breaking free from co-dependency. One of the ways to do that is to establish healthy boundaries.
References: Kass, J (2013). How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Every Relationship. Retrieved from, http://greatist.com/happiness/how-to-set-boundaries-in-relationship.