SORT BY Relevancy
In this episode we will be discussing one of the most critical invisible wounds adult children of alcoholics experience.
The need to feel 'seen' on a psychological, emotional and spiritual level is crucial to a child's ability to define for themselves who they are and their unique experiences. Without sufficient energy bonding with mother and or father, children spend their lives seeking to gain this much needed connection in others. Sadly children from dysfunctional homes most often do not attract healthy partners, friends, coworkers and etc. Because this is a cause and effect universe, and becasue one of the first agenda's of a soul is to feel 'seen' by mother and father, wounded adult children unconsciously on an energetic level attract similar energies to their parents, in search of sealing that bond. Understanding how and why we adult children of alcoholics and narcissists, are unknowingly leaking energetically, as well as attracting abusers, helps us gain clarity and the tools we need to make life long changes that impact our lives in positive ways.
It is not uncommon for adult children of alcoholics to attract energy beings who are very similar to their parents. It is quite common in fact for adult children to attract alcoholics as partners and to have children with drug and alcoholc issues. I hear some wondering, "But how could this be? I did not drink, and I hated my father who was an alcoholic. How could I have attracted a spouse who drinks and have children who drink and do drugs?" The reality Dear One, is that we attract what we are on a vibrational level, and your childhood experiences have created certain emotional set points. These set points are no different than a radio station. So like moths to a flame, children who have been abused by alcoholics are tuned up for alcoholics. Why? Because ACoA's understand the dysfunctional love language of an alcoholic, and or narcissistic, denial based being. While a non-codependent being would avoid alcoholics whose actions might not match what is comign out of his/her mouth, and ACoA sees these beings as needing sympathy, help, or love. In addition, because their idea of love is evasive, complicated and confusing, ACoA's match up their energies perfectly with beings who are more than willing to be evasice, complicated and confusing. Taking a Toxic Vibrational Fast is a Fast Pass Way to Facilitate Emotional Healing.
in Self Help
In this episode Lisa A. Romano, Certified ACoA Life Coach, Mentor and Author helps we wounded Adult Children from dysfunctional homes understand how we can use pain to help us transcend our wounds and how by 'reframing' how we experience our pain can also speed along our total recovery.
If you have been lost, hang in there as Lisa explains the purpose of pain and how we can learn to appreciate duality in our lives.
As Lisa explains, there can be no understanding of light without some understanding of darkness. There can be no integration without understanding ideas of separation. There can be no experience of contentment without some experience of discontentment. It is our hope that by listening to this recording as well as many of Lisa's others, that your ideas about self, your past, healing, and about recovery will help you reframe your perceptions about pain for the purpose of healing completely.
Did you grow up in a home with a problem drinker? If you did, you may have been impacted more than you know. Adult Children of Alcoholics share several common characteristics. They tend to feel different or isolated and uneasy with other people. They are intimidated by authority figures or people who are angry. They seek approval from others and lose themselves in the process. They are people-pleasers.
They feel responsible for other people and put their needs before their own. They are terrified of abandonment, and will do almost anything to maintain a relationship even (or especially) if it is unhealthy. They tend to hide their feelings both as children and as adults. They often confuse love with pity and tend to love people they can rescue. They thrive on drama rather than healthy relationships because that is what they grew up with. They often become alcoholics, marry alcoholics or both. The list goes on.
On this episode of The Bubble Hour our guests will share their experience both with growing up in an alcoholic home and in a home with someone in recovery.
Dr. Cathy Reimers, Ph.D., psychologist in New Jersey, and co-host Jennifer Russello, parent in New Jersey, continue the discussion on alcoholism in the American family and the impact that alcoholic parents have on children in their youth and into adulthood. Last week we discussed the hidden secret of alcoholism amongst parents, especially mothers and the growing numbers of women in general that are suffering and hiding their alcoholism. Alcoholism is one of the most contributing factors to dysfunction in a family. Sadly, this cycle often continues as studies show that children of alcoholics often suffer from some form of addiction and most commonly become addicted to alcohol or drugs. We will discuss the different roles that children take in their alcoholic families and what can be done to help these kids now and into their adulthood. The "perfect family storm" of alcoholism creates turmoil for everyone in its path and no one in the family escapes its effects. There is no place for the children to hide.
Dr. Cathy Reimers, Ph.D., psychologist in New Jersey, and co-host Jennifer Russello, parent in New Jersey, continue the discussion on alcoholism in the American family and the impact that alcoholic parents have on their children even into adulthood years. In our last show, we discussed alcoholism as one of the most contributing factors to dysfunction in a family, particularly, the different roles that children take on in their family. This week we will examine how adult children of alcoholics navigate through life, in their own relationships and raising their children. The “perfect family storm of alcoholism” is a vicious cycle that begins with one single sip for the alcoholic family member and only ends in “recovery” or continued treatment; however, the pain that the family endures goes deeper than “rock bottom” and may never end.
in Self Help
Many Adult Children of Alcoholics feel stuck, lost, afraid, resentful and frustrated by their circumstances. Because they were raised by inebriated, denial based caretakers--they were denied a healthy mirroring of Self-Love, Self-Appreciation, and Unconditional Love for Self.When your caretakers deny you the nurturing you deserve, you go through life feeling as if you are ill--wrong--broken--and stained. The wounds these feelings create are deep, and shatter a child's much needed sense of safety. The ability to trust Self is lost, as the child presumes the angst within--is something he/she deserves.
Future adult relationships all stem from the programmed dysfunctional perceptions of ones childhood. ACoA's often times attract into their experience partners who are very much like one of their caretakers. Because all beings attract what they know--even if what they know is dysfunctional--until a being becomes truly AWARE of that which is unconsciously driving all of their conscious decisions as adults--life cannot unfold happily.
Here we explore what it means to make that which is unconscious conscious--so to heighten our understanding and thus awareness of Self.
As awarness of self is expanded--so to is the love of self--for as one will ultimately learn here--we ACoA's were never not enough,we are not our pasts, nor our dysfuntional thoughts.
Lisa A. Romano
in Self Help
Because this is an attraction based universe, and becasue thoughts create things--we wounded adult children of alcoholics and adults from dysfunctional homes--may not be aware--that by the very nature of the universe--we are attracting what we know.
If all that we know--is the result of dysfunction--then how can we ever hope to attract healthy circumstances into our lives?
If the very core of our belief systems are dysfunctional--then all that we think must be a bit skewed.
If what we think is skewed--then what we attract will also be skewed--or at least--our perception of that which we are experiencing will be.
To take control of our adult lives--Jung says, "that until that which is unconscious is made conscious" we cannot truly ever be healed. If we do not know what is causing us to attract unhealthy circumstances and or people into our lives, how can we ever hope to live an abundant, joyful, fulfilling life?
Listen here as bestselling author, speaker and coach, Lisa A. Romano explains how adult children of alcoholics, and all wounded adult children from dysfunctional homes are simply the law of attraction in action--and how one can change their life around, simply by paying more attention to what one 'thinks'.
As adult children of alcoholics, many of us do not even realize just how wounded we truly are. Because we have ridiculously high threhholds for pain, we do not always consciously comprehend how dank our energy bodies are. Many of us have been living in such deep states of survival for so long, we are unaware our emotional set point is one that has us unknowingly avoiding pain rather than seeking joy in our lives. Because so many of us were taught that our needs were unimportant, we no longer seek guidance from within, and so we wind up settling for what shows up.
The most sad aspect of our realities is the fact that we are creators and capable of transcending ANY experience. But for adult children of alcoholics--if we do not even know where our pain is--or where our wounds are--we often times miss the transcendental experience embracing the pain can create. Embracing the pain is an opportunity to create new realities and to live life in new vibrations, literally embracing the opportunity to experience a New Earth in a whole new way.
Adult children of alcoholics come from long lines of dank energy beings, and because our families have been drenched in denial, it can be quite a wobbly experience as one approaches a true healing journey. In this episode we will be discussing the Hero's Path of An Adult Child of an Alcoholic and or Narcissist, and how we can use our experiences to propel us to higher vibrations, so to experience the world in a whole New Way as higher energy beings, living our lives intentionally on a Quantum Level, for the purpose of living our Higher Self Realities through the process of transcendence.
in Self Help
In this episode, Lisa A. Romano-Life Coach--discusses ways in which ACoA's can deliberately set their focus on creating brighter future realities.
In her words, "Because ACoA's and children from dysfunctional homes are so accustomed to pain--and because so many are stuck inside loops of negative dysfunctional programming--and unbeknownst to them--continue to attract dysfunctional people into their lives--for the most part--they are overwhelmed by the present--that they can't see the forest through the trees.
When you are too busy deflecting pain--it is all but impossible sometimes to learn how to imagine life being any better. But unless one is able to see beyond what is--than only more of what is can continue to show up. It is possible to create different and more healthy future realities. But one must learn to believe its possible first--and at same time--begin focusing more on what he/she wants to experience opposed to what he/she is experiencing in time and space now.
It isn't an easy thing to do--but it is possible."
Tune in to hear how Lisa explains how to break the cycle of dysfunction with practical 'how to' tools.
Her website is www.healingselfesteem.com
And she is the bestselling author of The Road Back To Me, My Road Beyond the Codependent Divorce, and Loving the Self Affirmations.
in Self Help
ACOA's don't recognize that their need to be validated is so strong--that they sometimes seek to control others through care-taking for them--to induce a sense of 'need'--so that others never leave them.
To stop the insanity wheel from spinning--we ACOA's need to take accountability for our own happiness--by accepting self--and others--without expecting others to fulfill our needs--or help maks wounds they didn't create.
Ever wonder we nice people who have been abused most of our lives, tend to attract narcissists later on in life, and sometimes throughout our lifetimes?
Sadly enough, we fixers attract people who we see as needing to be loved. Codependents settle for being needed, and often times lack a point of self--and so attract people who are controlling, who ultimately give them direction in life. Unfortunately, narcissists are takers, and the direction they give to codependents is one that is all about 'them'--the narcissist.
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