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Dr. Ruth Nemzoff, author of Don't Bite Your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationships with Your Adult Children (Palgrave/Macmillan, 2008) and Don't Roll Your Eyes: Making In-Laws Into Family (Palgrave/Macmillan, 2012) is our guest on Monday, December 8. She will be talking about the complexities of family relationships and how they are often exacerbated by the holiday season and family gatherings. How many times have you heard: - "prey for me - we're going to my mother-in law," or: "my son's and his wife for the holidays".
Dr. Ruth Nemzoff is a resident scholar at Brandeis University's Women's Studies Research Center. She lectures on parenting adult children, relationships and family dynamics. Her papers are archived at the Schlesinger Library at Harvard University where she also holds a doctorate in social policy. She has served three terms in the New Hampshire Legislature and was New Hampshire Deputy Commissioner of Health and Welfare. She is the mother of four adult children, four in-law children and grandmother of eight. She lives in Brookline, MA with her husband Harris Berman, Dean of Tufts University School of Medicine.
Join Austin & Lindsay on the couch at Real Talk on topics such as Divorce, Separations, Healing through adultery, dating and more. Get the Real Deal on tips, advice and conversations on topics that matter to you. Join them monthly as they dive right on in with hard talk, real talk on relationships.
Homosexuality as an identity is increasingly acceptable in our society. However, we have a long way to go in offering help to children and their families as a gay child struggles with his/her identity, and makes the decision to come out. We need to find ways to be supportive to families and the individual child. The dynamics of a family are invariably changed when a child comes out and the family needs to be considered as a system in order to begin to come to terms with their child's identity.
Parents often feel stigmatized, and believe that they have not succeeded in being a good parent. "What did I do wrong?" Kids may blame themselves for even feeling any sort of sexual attraction to a same sex person, and fear they could lose their family, if it was even hinted at. Although many parents suspect their child is gay, it is rarely a topic that is addressed openly before the child comes out.
Today's guest, Dr Michael LaSala, the author of "Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child," will help us understand the complexities of this concern and how we can navigate them.
Michael C. LaSala, PhD is a psychotherapist and associate professor at the School of Social Work at Rutgers University. He has been in practice for more than 30 years and he currently treats LGBT individuals and families at the Institute for Personal Growth in Highland Park, NJ.
Dr. LaSala’s book entitled “Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child” is available from Columbia University Press and describes the findings and practice implications of a National Institute of Mental Health funded qualitative study of 65 gay and lesbian youth and their families.
As AARP's Home & Family Expert, Amy Goyer provides expertise on a variety of issues, including family caregiving and aging in place, livable communities, grandparenting, parenting and other family relationships, multigenerational living and family history.
Amy’s book Juggling Work and Caregiving was published by AARP in October 2013. For more information, visit aarp.org/caregivingbook. Read her blog at http://blog.aarp.org/author/amygoyer/
Amy Goyer is a primary caregiver for her father. In 2009 she began spending most of her time in Arizona as a primary caregiver, while frequently returning to Washington, DC for work.
She writes a column on AARP.org, acts as an AARP media spokesperson and is a regular guest on AARP radio. Amy is the author of "Things to do now you're a Grandparent." She is also a winner of 2012 ALTY Best Blog Award in Caregiving category and Finalist in Seniorhomes.com Social Media Rockstar Award.
Follow Amy on Twitter @amygoyer and Pinterest!
"Life's most persistent and urgent question is, "What are you doing for others?" Marin Luther King
Develop relationships with people headed in the direction you are. Spend time with people doing things that line up with your goals. When your goals matters, relationships must matter. Teens, twenties, thirties, through retirement, relationships matter. People you relate well to are people who will come to know you well. You know what to expect and what not to expect from that person. That person know what to expect and what not to expect from you. We all need people in our lives who support us. We all need people in our lives who we support. Good strong, positive relationships will help you reach goals.
Bullying may be defined as the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another person, physically, mentally or emotionally. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person. It can be classified into four types:
Physical, verbal, and relational bullying are most prevalent in primary school and could also begin in preschool. Cyber-bullying, arguably the most destructive and common form today, is more common in secondary school than in primary school. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying#cite_note-:0-10
If you hit your kid, you give them a message that it’s okay to hit others. And a new study examining the case histories of almost 2,500 American children confirms that spanking breeds bullies. Lead author Dr. Catherine Taylor of Tulane University... factored out the influences such as maternal mental health and use of drugs, domestic violence, neglect, income, age, race and education. And spanking emerged as the most important factor in determining which three-year-old children developed into aggressive five-year-olds. ("Mothers' Spanking of 3-Year-Old Children and Subsequent Risk of Children's Aggressive Behavior", C. A. Taylor, J. A. Manganello, S. J. Lee, J. C. Rice, Pediatrics 2010; 125:5 e1057-e1065; published ahead of print April 12, 2010, doi:10.1542/peds.2009-2678)
Should we focus on early intervention with parents?
Leigh Goodmark’s book, “A Troubled Marriage: Domestic Violence and the Legal System” challenges traditional ways domestic violence is understood by our society and its institutions. She sees WAVA (Women Against Violence Act, 1994) as a significant step forward in empowering women. However, although disappointed that WAVA did not pass in 2013, Dr. Goodmark urges that we see it as an opportunity to rethink how we might improve it. For example, we need to recognize that there is no “cookie cutter” solution for domestic violence. Each abused woman’s circumstances are different and in order to truly understand and help her, it is essential that we help empower her to do what is best for her. “The justice system is simply one tool, and not always the best tool, among the many available to respond to domestic violence. Those who want to eradicate woman abuse must channel their energy, creativity, and passion into constructing multiple pathways for women to live autonomous lives free of abuse”. (Goodmark, Leigh (2011-12-01). A Troubled Marriage: Domestic Violence and the Legal System (p. 198). NYU Press short. Kindle Edition)
Leigh Goodmark joined the Maryland Carey Law faculty in 2014 and teaches the Gender Violence Clinic, which she launched while a visiting professor here at the law school during the 2013-2014 academic year.
Professor Goodmark is a member of the Editorial Board of Violence Against Women and serves on the Advisory Board for NVRDC, a victim service organization. Professor Goodmark is a member of the Maryland, District of Columbia and California bars.
Today our guest, Rita Bailey, Co-Chair of the Domestic Violence and Abuse Partnership Task Force in Darien, CT, will describe how a grass roots community group can help raise domestic violence awareness.
Consider the statistics:
Every 9 seconds a woman is battered in the United States.
Conservatively, each year 1 million women suffer nonfatal violence by an intimate.
Nearly 1 in 3 women experience domestic violence in their lifetime.
Ninety to ninety-five percent of domestic violence victims are women.
As many as 324,000 women each year experience intimate partner violence during their pregnancy.
The U.S. Department of Justice reported that 37 percent of all women who sought care in hospital emergency rooms for violence-related injuries were injured by a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend.
Forty percent of teenage girls age 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.
Studies of the Surgeon General's office reveal that domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44, more common than automobile accidents, muggings, and cancer deaths combined. Other research has found that half of all women will experience some form of violence from their partners during marriage, and that more than one-third are battered repeatedly every year.
Domestic Violence occurs in all communities. Victims have no profile.? They are found in all ethnic and demographic groups, can have no education or hold advanced degrees in professions such as medicine, law, or be voted the most upstanding citizen and perhaps even volunteer their time to combating ?domestic violence. ?You may be surprised to learn that the above statistics ?are undoubtedly on the low side?.
October is National Bullying Prevention Month, and we will recognize it today with Dr. William Copeland, Associate Professor at Duke University Medical Center.
Dr. Copeland recently wrote an article (published online 2/20, 2013 In JAMA Psychiatry) on the long-term effects of bullying behavior. The findings as to what extent bullying can affect a person’s adult functioning are alarming and should be a “call to arms,” to create effective bullying prevention programs in all schools and communities.
Dr. William Copeland is a clinical psychologist and epidemiologist, who trained at the University of Vermont and completed his clinical internship at Duke University Medical Center. He is currently an Associate Professor at the Center for Developmental Epidemiology in the department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Duke University Medical Center.
Dr. Copeland’s research program is supported by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, the National Institute of Mental Health, and the National Alliance for Research in Schizophrenia and Depression (NARSAD).
It's not uncommon to think of domestic violence as a one time event; however, the overwhelming majority of domestic violence victims are routinely abused, leading to chronic major health problems. Women who have experienced Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) in their lifetime were more likely to report having asthma, diabetes, frequent headaches, chronic pain, poor physical and mental health, also health problems which results in physical and psychological damage to victims and their families. It's a national health problem, not "their" problem, and all of us need to recognize and accept the severity of domestic violence and its consequences to society at large.
Today, I will be joined by Susan Delaney of DVCC (Domestic Violence Crisis Center CT) to help us understand the rippling effect of domestic violence, and the importance of joining together to deal with this crisis.
Susan Delaney is founder and director of the Medical Advocacy Project and the Training Advocacy Project for the Domestic Violence Crisis Center of Norwalk and Stamford. Susan has been working in the field of domestic violence advocacy for over twenty five years.
Today's guest is Barbara Paradiso, a pioneer in organizing academic programs for educating professionals working in the field of domestic violence at the University of Colorado's, School of Public Affairs. Yes, we can provide interpersonal violence awareness/education to the public, and make every effort to organize the legal and justice systems. However, the real question is: can abusers be rehabilitated? We know that abusers can stop their behavior when the fear of getting caught looms large, but can the abuser be clinically treated to "cure" his/her behavior?
Do we have data on the rate of recidivism, and the efficacy of treatment for abusers?
Why has this societal problem of interpersonal violence received so scant attention? While the current NFL domestic abuse "scandal," has resulted in a public out cry, will these recent incidents, not to mention the long history of unreported/reported interpersonal violence, go under the radar until another tragic incident occurs?
Barbara Paradiso is currently the Director of the Program and Center on Domestic Violence at the School of Public Affairs, University of Colorado Denver. Barbara has worked on behalf of battered women and their children for more than twenty years as an advocate, administrator and activist. Prior to her position at University of Colorado Denver, she served as the Director of Domestic Violence Programs for the Sunshine Lady Foundation of North Carolina. For twelve years, from 1985-1997, Barbara was the Executive Director of Boulder County Safehouse. Barbara has been active in the Colorado Coalition Against Domestic Violence as Co-Chair of the organization, Chair of the Legislative, Membership, and Finance Committees. She is currently Board President for the Boulder Shelter for the Homeless and a newly elected member to the Board of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.