SWeT RADIO  

When reflecting on the greatest inventions of the 20^th century, one can’t but stand in awe at such technological advances such as the computer, the electric phonograph and of course, the most ingenious automobile design…the minivan! The minivan has been made a symbol of the suburban white-collar housewife since its inception in the late 1970’s. But now in the 21^st century, another animal has taken to this “kiddy-mobile”…the middle-aged single male exhibiting a fetish for wearing their son’s (or daughter’s) clothes; usually resulting from and/or conjunction with a mid-life-crisis. Genetically encoded into the DNA of every male on this planet is the “Need for Speed” chromosome. Not like the video game series, but the urge to go fast in anything that is available. Car manufacturers like Ferrari and Mazerati have catered to this urge, but only for those with the income to sustain it. For those men who are more towards the “Middle-of-the-Road”, in terms of finances, the minivan would have to suffice…or a Nissan Pathfinder. When combining these two dynamics, yields a very common and equally dangerous phenomenon. Enter the 37-year-old minivan speed racer syndrome. As ridiculous as it sounds, it is so much sadder. All over the East Coast, more and more divorced fathers, clueless “club senior citizens” and “old macks”(OG’s and OOOG’s) have been turning in their 1997 Honda Accords, 2002 Corollas and 2004 Ford Focus’ for new model Chrysler Pacificas, Towne& Countries and  Dodge Caravans. They have been taking over our shopping centers, parking lots and bar and club areas armed with these large monstrous vehicles. The danger is real and it is increasing so be careful. If you know anyone suffering from the illness, please do them a favor and get them to a doctor or psychologist…or both, immediately. The sooner these individuals receive medical attention, the greater the chance in finding a cure; so remember: early detection is key. Ways to prevent yourself from becoming a victim of this phenomenon include: looking both ways before crossing the street, wearing bright clothing (even in the daytime), wearing comfortable shoes, exercise regularly, getting a daily serving of fiber and amino acids, staying away from places in which these men congregate (bars, clubs, pizza places, etc), and most importantly,…getting between 6-8 hours of sleep each night. Keep your wits about you and go with care!

                                                Bless you all

-Mr. Thoughtful, aka AG