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They found more than 90 children had been kicked out of preschool programs in the previous six months, and that was just among those schools who bothered to return the survey.

"It was probably much worse," said Ann Bowdish, early childhood services director for the Positive Education Program.

Today, Day Care Plus works directly with the teachers and families of more than 500 children at risk of being expelled from preschool. The program works, Bowdish says. More than 95 percent of the at-risk kids are able to stay in their current classroom as a result of the help.

Joanah, the Lakewood boy, is one of the few whom PEP Day Care Plus helped into a different program.

Consultant Anne Gannon worked one-on-one with the family, from meeting with Joanah's therapist to coordinating with the director of his new school, Lakewood Baptist Child Development Center.

They found that fit at Lakewood Baptist Child Development Center, where Joanah is now in an integrated classroom that includes children at a variety of developmental stages.

Joanah's mom, Lori Napier, said the change took some adjustment but has been for the best. She credits Lakewood Baptist staff, who are diligent in keeping her apprised of what's happening day to day, as well as Gannon for stepping in when the mother felt she had nowhere else to turn.

"I feel like they're backing me up," Napier says.

Gilliam says it's "actually very tragic that when you ask preschool teachers what they'd like assistance with more than anything else, they say behavioral issues."

His spotlight on the issue is beginning to pay off, according to Pre-K Now, a Washington, D.C.-based advocacy group.

Several states, such as Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Maryland and Michigan, have expanded their early childhood mental health consultation systems, according to the group.

There are more practical changes preschools can make, too.

Teachers also need to be treated with respect, given breaks and paid well. And, for all that, they need to be qualified.

The National Institute for Early Education Research recommends all lead teachers have bachelor's degrees, but fewer than half of the 38 states that sponsor preschool programs require such a credential.

"They're not just babysitters. Early care in education really does require some skill and some training," says McCabe, the Cornell early childhood expert.

The recommendation resonates with Gannon, who sees class size as the biggest problem.

"When you have too many children in one area all trying to get the teacher's attention -- sometimes I'm wondering, why do they think this child has a behavior problem? I would have a behavior problem, too, if I was in this room," she says.

Besnoy, the New York City-area mom, feels that was a contributing factor in her son Wyatt's case. Wyatt was one of 17 kids in his former classroom, although the teacher had an aide.

"When you have that many kids ... you don't want the kid who's not cookie cutter. Because you don't have time to deal with them," Besnoy says.